my year 2024: did nothing atall

[Defenestration]

Hi,

I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....

it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......

every time it's pushed back.

so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...

anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Honestly, same. 2024 has been the most useless and unproductive year of my shit life so far.

 

[Defenestration]

I love your quote "dead already...just need to dispose of my body now"

 

[Defenestration]

I hope that 2025 will FINALLY be my last year... I made this wish for the year 2023 and 2024 and it failed...

 

[timetodie24]

I can really relate
I've achieved nothing this year. Just rotted at home. Ctb was the one thing I wanted to achieve and failed so far .
Like you I keep thinking each year is going to be my last and so angry when it's not and hate myself for being such a coward . It's so frustrating.

 

[NegevChina]

Hi,

I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....

it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......

every time it's pushed back.

so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...

anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...

My condition has similarities to yours. I understood about 7-8 months ago that I must end my life, but I'm still trying to get a better method. In the meantime all my relations with family/friends are getting damaged. I cant get a job, doing almost nothing all day. At first I was desperate and tried to find a train location or jump 26m 9th floor, then thought of CO, lately thinking about the unpopular CO2 bag, and now trying to get inert gas but cant get Nitrogen tank easily, supplier keeps telling me he did not receive nitrogen yet.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Not exactly the same situation but I did nothing in 2024 bc I can't bear another failure and I don't want to be disappointed when things don't work out again. As long as I do nothing nothing can go wrong. I'm hardly suicidal rn but when things I put much effort into fail then this can make me very suicidal again as well as other things that can go wrong.

 

[Johnzaga23]

Same. Last semester was a disaster. I didnt pass any of my classes. Took a few in summer just to save it a little. This semester I said I will lock in. In the end, I just want to CBT. Its been 2 months doing absolutely nothing. I thought I would get this over with before christmas. I have some days left. We'll see.

 

[lnlybnny]

This year I spent it the entire time ruminating and digesting something that happened last year. I didn't do anything at all. The worst part is that I'm soon turning 30 without having accomplished anything, I never even had a job. I've been living basically the same day for 10 years now

 

[Defenestration]

Thanks for all this information

 

[LostLily]

I hate it went a new year passes, because I means I wasted another year I my life

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

At the beginning of 2024 I quit my very well paid job, then I had a manic episode and destroyed my life in every way imaginable, while my wife left me right when I needed support the most. I did a ton of things while I was manic, but that made me blow all of my money on grandiose ideas and I have nothing meaningful to show for it. When the mania subsided in August I fell into such deep depression that I could barely move. After months of increasing medication doses I still feel nothing but sadness and despair, it's just a bit more distant. This year was an absolute nightmare. The only thing I accomplished was to destroy my life and it shattered my will to live.

 

[pointblank]

This year I spent it the entire time ruminating and digesting something that happened last year. I didn't do anything at all. The worst part is that I'm soon turning 30 without having accomplished anything, I never even had a job. I've been living basically the same day for 10 years now

29 here with no job experience whatsoever that and I have bad hearing

 

[Agon321]

I am currently also in a "vegetative" state. My life is not going in any direction.
The worst thing is that it is a vicious circle.
When I think about the time I have wasted, I feel depressed and continue to waste time because my brain tells me that it is not worth trying, because I have already lost time that I cannot make up for.

I am just waiting for the apocalypse, or a no way out situation, where the only reasonable solution will be CTB.
A miserable existence will end in a miserable death.

 

[attheend13]

Hi,

I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....

it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......

every time it's pushed back.

so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...

anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...

For me 2024 was the 3rd year in a row I've really tried every minute. Got into seminars, God I was even hypnotized trying to find and remove a curse. I had more opportunities than any single year before in a highly competitive field. And I failed every. Single. Time. It's not about the luck or the skill . Nobody in this world wants me. Period. 2024 just proved what I already knew but didn't want to see. It will never get any better. It will change but it will never get better. I wish I could just catch the next bus. What's the point in anything?

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

The title of the thread says "did nothing at all" so I'm just gonna remind you - you've made me smile or laugh every single time I've seen your username & pic Maybe not much to you, a lot to me, so thank you. I don't relate to all of your post but I am absolutely, completely shocked that I am still here & likely seeing in the new year. That was not my goal & it's breaking my heart. If I could change one decision for the whole year, it would be taking the SN the day (or at least week) that it arrived. I let life intervene & then it kept intervening & I kept letting it - not because I was looking for excuses to not CTB, but because I'm a people pleasing sack of shit that never stands up for themselves. Weak & pathetic. And feeling a bit sorry for myself TBH. Best of luck to you, with yeeting/not yeeting, whichever it may be

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I actually never even noticed your pic until
@DOHARDTHINGS24 just pointed it out. It made me laugh too.
Also, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only person here that had to google defenestration because of you :)

 

[pointblank]

I actually never even noticed your pic until
@DOHARDTHINGS24 just pointed it out. It made me laugh too.
Also, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only person here that had to google defenestration because of you :)

I laughed when I read the definition of defenestration

 

[CallmeWill4719]

Truly sorry to hear about this. That pretty much describes my life sometimes. Just putting it off over and over out of sheer morbid curiosity and then regretting it so much. Doesn't help that I know that there are people in my life that would be very upset without me, which I'll never understand, But that's my stupid depression talking.

 

[lnlybnny]

29 here with no job experience whatsoever that and I have bad hearing

I feel so terrible about this. I really feel I'm an alien or something

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I actually never even noticed your pic until
@DOHARDTHINGS24 just pointed it out. It made me laugh too.
Also, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only person here that had to google defenestration because of you :)

I already knew the word, that's why it "jumps" out at me . I've told OP before that even though it's not my method of choice, defenestrate & yeet are 2 of my favourite words, for no reason at all, & the pic gets a smile / laugh Every. Damn. Time.
Apologies for hijacking thread & having a laugh - it's in no way to diminish OP's experience / year.
I've had a shit year (after year, unfortunately) & didn't expect to still be here & hate that I am. I never anticipated that laughing on a suicide site would become a highlight of my day (I laugh plenty IRL). But thanks to some members here, it truly has.
Happy Fucking New Year to all of us that SWORE we would not be here for it, yet are. Not laughing now.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I already knew the word, that's why it "jumps" out at me . I've told OP before that even though it's not my method of choice, defenestrate & yeet are 2 of my favourite words, for no reason at all, & the pic gets a smile / laugh Every. Damn. Time.
Apologies for hijacking thread & having a laugh - it's in no way to diminish OP's experience / year.
I've had a shit year (after year, unfortunately) & didn't expect to still be here & hate that I am. I never anticipated that laughing on a suicide site would become a highlight of my day (I laugh plenty IRL). But thanks to some members here, it truly has.
Happy Fucking New Year to all of us that SWORE we would not be here for it, yet are. Not laughing now.

I also apologize for hijacking the OP's thread but I had to comment.

You just made me google yeet!! I am old
Actually, the amount of words I have had to Google since being on this site is quite high. Now too bad I just can't remember any of them.

And yes, some of my biggest laughs come from this site. I am glad other people can be unhappy and yet still have a sense of humor.

 

[yowai]

Uhhh same. I got off drugs in September last year, before was using them daily for 3 years so my brain stopped making any dopamine by itself and thanks to that I didn't achieve anything at all. Can't even think of a single thing right now I could be proud of, I was just surviving and wasting time trying to fight off cravings. There were a couple attempts to get a job but one didn't respond and the other was a scam lol. The recovery for brain is supposed to be two years after amphetamines and now I'm back in full relapse after ruining it after I was halfway there. Because I was so tired and couldn't get anything done and was on the verge of giving my pets away because even caring for them was too much effort

 

[LastLoveSong]

i did nothing either, just got more traumatised and less intelligent. to be fair this was the first year where on new years i was just like "yeah i give up im not trying anymore this year" because in previous years i actually tried to be better for the new year, only to be hit with the crushing reality that im a useless slug that cant get anything productive done, and so now im just trying to not think about my life while simultaneously trying to gain the courage to die. Hope isnt an emotion i recognise anymore, all i am is a being that grows older while falling in an endless black void forever

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I also apologize for hijacking the OP's thread but I had to comment.

You just made me google yeet!! I am old
Actually, the amount of words I have had to Google since being on this site is quite high. Now too bad I just can't remember any of them.

And yes, some of my biggest laughs come from this site. I am glad other people can be unhappy and yet still have a sense of humor.

This makes me happy. I am also old if that helps. I don't even think young people actually say yeet but I do all the time. There is no rhyme or reason to what makes me laugh. But if you want to hear something completely & utterly bonkers & ridiculous - I used to spend a chunk of my time here, trying to make one person laugh. Just one. They made me laugh all the time. They made me memes about MY day. It was awesome. Their bus came 2 months ago. I still talk to them every day. We had a few highly specific long-running jokes. I saw the most highly specific thing in a shop yesterday that related so accurately to the joke, I bought it. And then came home to write to them to say "I got you a gift" & as I did, I realised it may have been their gift to me...
So, still joking with a dead person & then debating over whether it was my gift to them or their gift to me & knowing THEY WOULD HAVE LOVED that I can't work out the answer & made me a meme about it.
I may be on a suicide forum with active plans to catch my bus, but I've never been crazy before - it appears yesterday was the start & that's OK.

 

[isolatedl111]

Hi,

I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....

it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......

every time it's pushed back.

so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...

anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...

Same, each day that passes by makes me think that life is useless