longtime_lurker_123
Member
- Sep 6, 2024
- 9
Last week I had to take to use the public transit in my city, due to the extremely low frequency I was running frantically to catch the bus that was arriving shortly.
By doing so I had jumped a red light I did not realize this until it was too late. One car almost hit me, literally passed at a very high speed like in 2 steps ahead of me.
I just desperately apologized via gesturing my to the vehicle which by the way did not stop but just honked angrily, then I just ran to get onto the bus.
But all this happened in a matter of like couple of minutes, Then I made the payment sat into the last seat then it everything sunk in, I literally felt nothing for my safety, except for the inconvenience that I had just caused the driver, on the contrary only other thing I felt was regret of not being hit.
The funny thing is I have had a near death experience like around 6 years back during one of my motorbike rides when I almost had an accident, but my voluntary reaction was panic, fear and shock then a great relief of what I had just been through.
I had just then realized from a first hand experience, I've become so devoid of any apathy for myself. I am at the rock bottom, an empty shell just going through the motions just waiting to end.
By doing so I had jumped a red light I did not realize this until it was too late. One car almost hit me, literally passed at a very high speed like in 2 steps ahead of me.
I just desperately apologized via gesturing my to the vehicle which by the way did not stop but just honked angrily, then I just ran to get onto the bus.
But all this happened in a matter of like couple of minutes, Then I made the payment sat into the last seat then it everything sunk in, I literally felt nothing for my safety, except for the inconvenience that I had just caused the driver, on the contrary only other thing I felt was regret of not being hit.
The funny thing is I have had a near death experience like around 6 years back during one of my motorbike rides when I almost had an accident, but my voluntary reaction was panic, fear and shock then a great relief of what I had just been through.
I had just then realized from a first hand experience, I've become so devoid of any apathy for myself. I am at the rock bottom, an empty shell just going through the motions just waiting to end.
