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I

Ivan181

Member
Dec 23, 2024
14
Can't take being homeless and being with extreme chronic pain and discomfort. It's so unbearable and my pain is getting worse Im suffering so much I feel I know I need to ctb asap. Completely broke right now. I must jump from a parking ramp I found suitable it's a 105 ft drop and I don't have to climb any railings and I have a good view of the streets so I can make sure not to fall on anyone. The only downside is I'm afraid of height so jumping might be difficult but I'll make sure to take lyrica and alcohol to help calm my nerves. I'm not at all worried about surviving since I have ligament damage in my spine so my spinal cord will most likely rupture upon impact leading to a quick death. If for whatever reason I can't jump my backup plan is to step in front of the borealis Amtrak train with an average speed of 57 mph. I understand that these action have the potential to traumatize witnesses and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. But I don't see what other options I have. As long as I don't fall on anyone that I will take every precaution ti avoid doing. Wish me luck I need this curse of a life to end as soon as possible and hopefully my death goes smoothly
 
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Reactions: ijustwishtodie, pointblank, ShatteredSerenity and 4 others
ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
82
Hope you're able to find the peace and happiness you're looking for, in whatever way that may be.
 
I

Ivan181

Member
Dec 23, 2024
14
Hope you're able to find the peace and happiness you're looking for, in whatever way that may be.
Thanks I really hope I can find peace too I really hope I can find the courage to jump I hope the Lyrica and alcohol will be enough to give me the push I need. I'm incredibly worried though
 
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Reactions: ma0
unsmashed

unsmashed

Chronic Lyme Sucks
Dec 26, 2024
8
Can't take being homeless and being with extreme chronic pain and discomfort. It's so unbearable and my pain is getting worse Im suffering so much I feel I know I need to ctb asap. Completely broke right now. I must jump from a parking ramp I found suitable it's a 105 ft drop and I don't have to climb any railings and I have a good view of the streets so I can make sure not to fall on anyone. The only downside is I'm afraid of height so jumping might be difficult but I'll make sure to take lyrica and alcohol to help calm my nerves. I'm not at all
Can't take being homeless and being with extreme chronic pain and discomfort. It's so unbearable and my pain is getting worse Im suffering so much I feel I know I need to ctb asap. Completely broke right now. I must jump from a parking ramp I found suitable it's a 105 ft drop and I don't have to climb any railings and I have a good view of the streets so I can make sure not to fall on anyone. The only downside is I'm afraid of height so jumping might be difficult but I'll make sure to take lyrica and alcohol to help calm my nerves. I'm not at all worried about surviving since I have ligament damage in my spine so my spinal cord will most likely rupture upon impact leading to a quick death. If for whatever reason I can't jump my backup plan is to step in front of the borealis Amtrak train with an average speed of 57 mph. I understand that these action have the potential to traumatize witnesses and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. But I don't see what other options I have. As long as I don't fall on anyone that I will take every precaution ti avoid doing. Wish me luck I need this curse of a life to end as soon as possible and hopefully my death goes smoothly

worried about surviving since I have ligament damage in my spine so my spinal cord will most likely rupture upon impact leading to a quick death. If for whatever reason I can't jump my backup plan is to step in front of the borealis Amtrak train with an average speed of 57 mph. I understand that these action have the potential to traumatize witnesses and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. But I don't see what other options I have. As long as I don't fall on anyone that I will take every precaution ti avoid doing. Wish me luck I need this curse of a life to end as soon as possible and hopefully my death goes smoothly
I can relate to homelessness. I had a business going and then the pandemic hit and then I got Lyme disease and have multiple other serious health issues. I can't take it anymore. I cannot deal with the Lyme disease. I wish I could do it right now! But I need $700 to purchase what I need to get it done and get a hotel room to do it. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry society doesn't care about us at all. I hope your at least sleeping in a car for the time being and not in an alley or on a bench in the cold.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,373
I'm so sorry for your suffering and I hope that you find peace soon
 
Q

Queen B

Member
Nov 24, 2024
13
I don't know jumping sounds scary to me if I didn't it would be a very tall tower just to be sure that success is %99.99
 
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Reactions: pointblank
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,245
That sounds really horrible and torturous, it's so cruel to me how there's all this immense suffering in existing but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.
 

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