Venting No escape

[Lara Francis]

My mind is racing tonight and will not slow down.
I am anxious and stressed and really don't know what I am trying to say.!
If we are lucky enough to sleep without nightmares or disturbed sleep,when we wake there seems to be that 5 second window when our brains have not quite caught with us and in that very brief moment things can seem almost normal until reality kicks in along with its attached sense of hopelessness and suffering.I remember when life was simple and happy but now it's a complete mess and feels like I am trying to get free from a straight jacket without much luck.
I wish I could sleep until December when my boy may come back to me.
I had to see him in a contact centre yesterday and it was awful and degrading.
I am sorry for the waffle.

 

[MissLisa]

My mind is racing tonight and will not slow down.
I am anxious and stressed and really don't know what I am trying to say.!
If we are lucky enough to sleep without nightmares or disturbed sleep,when we wake there seems to be that 5 second window when our brains have not quite caught with us and in that very brief moment things can seem almost normal until reality kicks in along with its attached sense of hopelessness and suffering.I remember when life was simple and happy but now it's a complete mess and feels like I am trying to get free from a straight jacket without much luck.
I wish I could sleep until December when my boy may come back to me.
I had to see him in a contact centre yesterday and it was awful and degrading.
I am sorry for the waffle.

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the pain of not having your boy with you. Have you tried planning stuff you are going to do with him? I find that can sometimes help a smidge as it's taking an action. Hugs

 

[Lara Francis]

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the pain of not having your boy with you. Have you tried planning stuff you are going to do with him? I find that can sometimes help a smidge as it's taking an action. Hugs

Thankyou .yes we do plan things.my visits have to be supervised with 1 visit out of 3 at the contact centre and the other 2 where we want to go for our hour and half.x

 

[MissLisa]

Thankyou .yes we do plan things.my visits have to be supervised with 1 visit out of 3 at the contact centre and the other 2 where we want to go for our hour and half.x

I mean, sometimes when I'm feeling so much emotion with nowhere to put it (a hopeless situation) I take an action. So if I was at home with no way to contact my boy I would get a notebook out and Google and plan trips in detail etc with what we are going to do. It gives my mind somewhere to put the energy and I find it calms me. It also gives you something to look forward to. It must be so difficult but hang in there, December will be here soon enough

 

[Regisphilbin_savant]

Try to think of the joyous time when you get to see your boy the things you can ronin that time that will bring you closer together and impart some joy to both of you

 

[DeathBecomesMe]

What waffle? I enjoyed it. Probably because I'm feeling exactly the same tonight. Well maybe not exactly. My mind is racing like crazy, but it's accompanied by extreme clarity, with some rage and adrenaline. I even smashed my phone against my knee and it went flying, accidentally. So not like me. I need an outlet. My girlfriend's advice just makes me more upset.

This would be the perfect mindset to go take to the battle field hundreds of years ago. I feel as though I have nothing to lose. Dispensable, the perfect tool.

At least you got to see your boy, that's better than nothing I guess... And you have December to look forward to.