itsactuallyover127
Member
- Aug 1, 2024
- 15
I need to die but I don't have any methods. I have no rifles, no gun laws in my country allow me to get one, my apartment building is only 6 floors so I can't jump and if I could I don't want people to see my body and publish it on gore sites for sadistic edgy 13 year olds, I have no way of getting SN, N, or Cyanide because my mother checks every thing I order as my age does not matter to her because she is the boss of the house and there are cameras in our house everywhere recording. i am not allowed to leave the house without permission and i am not allowed to go onto the balcony or roof without permission without my mom being there as she thinks it's too dangerous for a "Mentally retarded" person like me.
My only option is insulin because I am type 1 diabetic with a huge stockpile but it feels like everyone survives from it so its not viable.
Please help I can't take it anymore it's been 6 months off my meds because my mom opted for religious therapy where someone prays with me on the phone and makes me recite prayers but it doesn't help. The whole house is infested with insects. There are men of the night everywhere. I am being watched and stalked. The screens are displaying messages and numbers again. 127, 127, 127, 127, 127, you know what that means? It means ascii code for "DEL" key. Its proof they need me to delete myself or they will hurt me. THere is no reality anymore and they will come and get me and end me and it will be the end of everyone and I don't want to see my family cut up and mutilated, I must die before it happens. They will kill my family if i stay alive because they are trying to get me. please help. please. I haven't been able to sleep because of it. My mom has to restrain me in bed until i fall asleep and im sick of it i don't want to be like this and i have university in a month but ic ant do it the paranoia will end me because i will be in an actual threat and someone can attack me and they can kill me there and i will embarras myself there and bring shame to the family. life has been so scary. i need to end it.
I attempted partial hanging before while having a breakdown following the megathread on this site but it didn't work as I kept choking and my SI made me untangle myself.
I attempted before with one of my ocd meds and antipyschotics but I was caught and then rushed to the hospital and survived. I dont have meds anymore to try it again and i can't buy them without prescription.
I am in Egypt if you can help me get SN or N or Cyanide or any other thing that help me end it locally. thank you.
also please don't make fun of me and tell me "stop worrying, it's not real" I don't care if it's not real because to me it has the same mental effects as if it was real because to me this is my reality and it's daily I feel this way thank you. I just want advice on methodology to end it or maybe advice on how to cope or how to get back on meds or something i dont know this is my last hope because i dont know any people life except my mom and little siblings and they can't help me with this
My only option is insulin because I am type 1 diabetic with a huge stockpile but it feels like everyone survives from it so its not viable.
Please help I can't take it anymore it's been 6 months off my meds because my mom opted for religious therapy where someone prays with me on the phone and makes me recite prayers but it doesn't help. The whole house is infested with insects. There are men of the night everywhere. I am being watched and stalked. The screens are displaying messages and numbers again. 127, 127, 127, 127, 127, you know what that means? It means ascii code for "DEL" key. Its proof they need me to delete myself or they will hurt me. THere is no reality anymore and they will come and get me and end me and it will be the end of everyone and I don't want to see my family cut up and mutilated, I must die before it happens. They will kill my family if i stay alive because they are trying to get me. please help. please. I haven't been able to sleep because of it. My mom has to restrain me in bed until i fall asleep and im sick of it i don't want to be like this and i have university in a month but ic ant do it the paranoia will end me because i will be in an actual threat and someone can attack me and they can kill me there and i will embarras myself there and bring shame to the family. life has been so scary. i need to end it.
I attempted partial hanging before while having a breakdown following the megathread on this site but it didn't work as I kept choking and my SI made me untangle myself.
I attempted before with one of my ocd meds and antipyschotics but I was caught and then rushed to the hospital and survived. I dont have meds anymore to try it again and i can't buy them without prescription.
I am in Egypt if you can help me get SN or N or Cyanide or any other thing that help me end it locally. thank you.
also please don't make fun of me and tell me "stop worrying, it's not real" I don't care if it's not real because to me it has the same mental effects as if it was real because to me this is my reality and it's daily I feel this way thank you. I just want advice on methodology to end it or maybe advice on how to cope or how to get back on meds or something i dont know this is my last hope because i dont know any people life except my mom and little siblings and they can't help me with this
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