Venting No one really understands

[geo]

No one really understands how I feel. I know my family try their best to listen and help but they don't see that I don't want help. I've been diagnosed with depression and psychosis and when I tell them I feel like I'm going crazy and there's no hope they tell me to take small steps or one day at a time. But I can't. They don't understand when I stay in bed for days on end or why I can't talk to them or get up. I know it's selfish and it's not fair to them but I feel stuck. Sleeping is the closed thing to death for me but they want me to do normal things. I just wish they would stop trying to help me then getting upset when I refuse because it's bad not ways

 

[Jadeith]

They won't stop trying because they care. Irrelevant if they care about you or themselves, trying not to look like bad fam. One way or another - they do care. They get angry because everyone does when they try to do sth important for them and keep failing.
No. It's not selfish. You are in trouble and your mind won't let you get up on your own, also actively preventing you form getting external help.
And small steps are basically only way moving forward, even if some of these steps are to the back.
I might not know exactly how you feel but i strongly believe that you can overcome your problem. I wish you all the best.

 

[5karlet]

i was in a similar place. i never really told anyone in my family what was going on with me but if i could rate my depression from 1-10 i'd give it a 9/10. i didnt want help either. i even almost ctb. but eventually taking small steps will lead to a big one and it did help. but i dont think depression or dark thoughts truly goes away. it's just how well you can manage and fight your demons.