ForgottenAgain
On the rollercoaster of sadness
- Oct 17, 2023
- 1,034
My suicidal thoughts have been subsiding. Instead of thinking about ctb I made 2 paintings of me dead, not yet sure if that is an improvement but I've been feeling good about my painting technique and the results I've been getting.
I'm painting so much, like I haven't done in years, and I haven't had psychotic episodes since they doubled some of my meds. Yet, I'm still very depressed and stressed about going back to work.
I feel like I'm living in a little bubble of the meds doing almost all the work. I'm too wobbly to "lose my shit", my boyfriend is doing pretty much everything in the house, this won't last forever. Eventually I'll be off of the bubble and then all that is left is me.
I'm painting so much, like I haven't done in years, and I haven't had psychotic episodes since they doubled some of my meds. Yet, I'm still very depressed and stressed about going back to work.
I feel like I'm living in a little bubble of the meds doing almost all the work. I'm too wobbly to "lose my shit", my boyfriend is doing pretty much everything in the house, this won't last forever. Eventually I'll be off of the bubble and then all that is left is me.
