Not in school. Unemployed. Living in my grandma's basement.

[Bcfgjk1]

I'm 19 and I've been homeless (sleeping in basements on couches, on mattresses in living rooms, boiler rooms, etc.) for over a year and a half. I started running away from home after I turned 18 because my mother is abusive. I've stayed with friends, but I always get kicked out or can't stay for long. I've stayed in hotels, but it's too expensive. Now, I'm in my 'grandma's' basement.

Throughout, I enlisted and discharged from the military in 3 months, found an apartment, then ran away because I couldn't afford next month's rent/breaking the lease, and been hospitalized 4 times in a year (after being arrested and handcuffed).

I have veteran's status because of 100% eligibility for disability (Neck injury/PTSD sustained in the military), so I'm looking for an apartment with my benefits/the money I've saved up. But I feel like a loser.
I have friends that are in school, working, living on their own, in their own place. Hell, I have a friend that just came back from going overseas to Japan. Meanwhile...

I'm embarrassed.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm 19 and I've been homeless (sleeping in basements on couches, on mattresses in living rooms, boiler rooms, etc.) for over a year and a half. I started running away from home after I turned 18 because my mother is abusive. I've stayed with friends, but I always get kicked out or can't stay for long. I've stayed in hotels, but it's too expensive. Now, I'm in my 'grandma's' basement.

Throughout, I enlisted and discharged from the military in 3 months, found an apartment, then ran away because I couldn't afford next month's rent/breaking the lease, and been hospitalized 4 times in a year (after being arrested and handcuffed).

I have veteran's status because of 100% eligibility for disability (Neck injury/PTSD sustained in the military), so I'm looking for an apartment with my benefits/the money I've saved up. But I feel like a loser.
I have friends that are in school, working, living on their own, in their own place. Hell, I have a friend that just came back from going overseas to Japan. Meanwhile...

I'm embarrassed.

My immediate response was to suggest the military to you but as I read on I seen you already tried. I'm a veteran to and I want to say, thank you for your service.

When you reflect over your life, try not to compare it with others because you are in a league of your own. Your PTSD dx tells me enough. As I don't mean don't compare it as your better but as being in the military and enduring combat, a lot of people don't come home the same anymore. I was in the military and never went to combat but my ex died 2 tours in Iraq and never was the same, he has PTSD also.

I'll share a quick story of my life and hopefully you will understand what I mean. I had 2 best friends I grew up with over 20 years ago. At some point we all went our own ways and nothing bad occurred. Years later we would all meet back up again, call it fate. We all had the same careers but they had a bachelor and the other had a masters and I felt like I was so behind, like a failure. Once we began talking about life over time their life was way worse than mines. My life isn't perfect by far but I needed someone to measure up with, set the tone as where I should be at that time and age. In the end it didn't matter and there was no comparison because we all were equally miserable and disliked this life. I say this to say, everyone has layers. What you may look at from the outside seems beautiful but everyone has a story and you do too. So that's why I said don't try to compare. We are all on different paths in life, try to focus on yours only.

I was homeless before and it was the worst time in my life. I told myself I'll never be homeless again. I got on psych medication and seen a routine psychiatrist and was able to graduate college. Only you set the limitations as how far you can go. Sometimes we have to hit the bottom and learn those lessons and we take those lessons and learn from them and don't make those mistakes anymore.

The good thing about the military is they help their veterans. Have you ever called the emergency helpline? I suggest you start there. Call and let them know you are struggling and it may take going into and inpatient hospital for a few weeks to get you back to a point where you can find an apartment and learn to try to cope with your situation.

I use to tell my ex this and I'll say the same. You're a hero. And it's because of people like you that we are able to sleep comfortably at night, a lot of people sacrificed their life like you so we could enjoy ours. I really mean that. And maybe if you look at your situation as I see it and many others then maybe you can stop doubting yourself.

So like I said call the veterans crisis line and they can offer you so many resources. That's why theu are there. They ended up pitting me in a furnished apartment and paid my rent for a year. They can do way more but it depends on your situation.

I know I talk a lot so I apologize for making this long. Your post touched my heart. I been there and climbed out of that whole, and you can too. Sending you virtual hugs I hope today is better for you.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

When I was 19, I was the only one that had been living alone out of my friendship group. I was in a youth hostel at 15/16, and got a flat of my own at 17.

All my other friends were living with their parents until late 20s at least, and some of the parents died so they continued to live in the house. I'm 35 now. Some would NEVER have moved out of their parents if they didn't live with their boyfriend (straight from their parents).

Not many people can live alone, some have to be dependent on others, so I wouldn't worry. I haven't actually come across anyone in real life that *genuinely* loves being alone, except myself. We are all different

Absolutely nothing wrong with living with someone at any age, but particularly at 19. Most are still with their parents, unless they are abusive (I can relate there), and manage to get away.

You are 19 years old, you became an adult a year ago, you have barely left your childhood so don't be so hard on yourself! You're still a teenager. No need to focus on how others lead their lives, there are no set rules. I know at your age you think there is, but take it from someone that's lived through it - there isn't.

As you get older, you realise it doesn't matter. There are more important things in life to worry about

Hopefully you can get some help with accommodation so you have a stable, permanent home, which will help your mental health.

You should be getting help with it anyway, I don't know what country you're in, but in the UK you can go to the council and claim homelessness, if you have nowhere to go - it is a long process, but they can put you in a hotel for now or something, unless your savings can get you somewhere, at least with the first month or whatever, and your benefits can pay the rest? Or benefits 100% from the off.

There are also charities out there that can help. Worth Googling

All the best