T
timetodie24
Enlightened
- Apr 14, 2023
- 1,085
As the deadline approaches (I have no choice as have to save the world from disaster), I realise I'm not ready. I have no idea why as I really don't want to be alive, I have no desire for any of life, and I've attempted before. But some pathetic part of me is holding on. I'm scared and not ready to go but I don't have a choice. I've tried but professionals can't help (yes i've been getting help for 'psychosis' so dont bother suggesting that). I have to find the courage. I wish someone could help me save the world and take that responsibility from me. But no one can. I don't want to live anyone but I'm not really ready to die. And i'm so scared for others getting caught up in my method but it's the way it is already set by those who control the world and nothing I can do. I don't know what I want anymore and scared to die. But its false as i'm not real so not really dying I guess, just exiting system.
I wish someone could help me instead as I don't want to go out like this with so much confusion but no one can. Why do I wish someone could 'save' me ? Pathetic. It's just SI .
I have no choice and it's naive to pretend otherwise. I can do it , I've had attempts before, this way should actually be easier . I'll get a bit drunk too and i'll be ready.
Sorry rambling. Just trying to figure this out in my head somehow . Tldr: i need to stop being a weak coward and do it , no one is going to 'save' me , i'm an evil entity and this isn't some fairytale .
I wish someone could help me instead as I don't want to go out like this with so much confusion but no one can. Why do I wish someone could 'save' me ? Pathetic. It's just SI .
I have no choice and it's naive to pretend otherwise. I can do it , I've had attempts before, this way should actually be easier . I'll get a bit drunk too and i'll be ready.
Sorry rambling. Just trying to figure this out in my head somehow . Tldr: i need to stop being a weak coward and do it , no one is going to 'save' me , i'm an evil entity and this isn't some fairytale .