Not so secret anymore...not sure how I feel

[Nitromask]

Finally told someone that I've been suicidal...not sure how I feel about that.
Part of me thinks it's good to get it out there and the other part thinks I've just screwed any future attempt.

 

[Sensei]

It could as well be a turning point for you. You no longer carry your burden alone and suffer in silence, and the person you told might offer you much needed support. Who knows?

 

[Thereisnothing]

Finally told someone that I've been suicidal...not sure how I feel about that.
Part of me thinks it's good to get it out there and the other part thinks I've just screwed any future attempt.

It must feel good in one way to have told someone and not have to hold it all in anymore. Talk and post here, its alot easier I find to do so than in real life/outside world and also added benefit that a forum such as SS, everyone 'gets it' and appreciates how bad things can be. The outside world is very bad at even thinking about suicide, least of all discussing it and being helpful to those who are. Big hugs from me
Also I mirror what @Sensei has said............it could well be a turning point.

 

[Nitromask]

@Sensei @Thereisnothing
Thanks guys. The person has been very supportive and is actively trying to help me change some things that are going wrong with my life - I'm willing to give it a shot, so we'll see how it goes....

 

[SuicideBoys93]

I know how you feel... I used alcohol to suppress my dark thoughts. I pulled myself from that part of my life knowing alcohol didn't solve anything but made me feel worse the next morning when the hangover kicked in. I was starting to turn into an alcoholic, because my mind ended up telling me to drink for the relief... One night a few months ago after therapy seemed to stop helping and months without drinking I killed a entire handle of vodka. Became scary for my wife in the sense she thought I'd die with how bad it got and called a friend. I guess I told him I was trying to drink myself to death, and said if this don't do it I'm sitting in the garage with my car on until that does. The very next day I had to explain my suicidal thoughts and it made me feel like a burden to others who had to check on me. I felt like shit that I told another grown man I have problems dealing with my life issues. It sucks, but it ultimately became a weight off my shoulder.

 

[Nitromask]

I know how you feel... I used alcohol to suppress my dark thoughts. I pulled myself from that part of my life knowing alcohol didn't solve anything but made me feel worse the next morning when the hangover kicked in. I was starting to turn into an alcoholic, because my mind ended up telling me to drink for the relief... One night a few months ago after therapy seemed to stop helping and months without drinking I killed a entire handle of vodka. Became scary for my wife in the sense she thought I'd die with how bad it got and called a friend. I guess I told him I was trying to drink myself to death, and said if this don't do it I'm sitting in the garage with my car on until that does. The very next day I had to explain my suicidal thoughts and it made me feel like a burden to others who had to check on me. I felt like shit that I told another grown man I have problems dealing with my life issues. It sucks, but it ultimately became a weight off my shoulder.

Alcohol played a part in mine coming out as well. I woke up like fuckkk did I really say that after managing to say nothing for a very long time.
Hope you are doing better now that it's out in the open