Not worth the pain?

[Felodese]

I really don't know if I can take the pain of so called recovery.
I've already been in pain my whole life, and now, in the hopes of some day maybe feeling better, I have to go through another hell on top of what I'm already dealing with?
I'm having more anxiety attacks and breakdowns than I can count - sometimes out of nowhere. The pain is so fucking intense that I'm punching myself and the walls just to make it stop. And I can't even remember when I last acted like this.
Is this supposed to be "healing" or "recovery"?
I can't deal with all this pain. I've already lost the one thing that might have made it worth trying - and the pain of that loss is still very much present.
I really just want to give up, cause I can't deal with it. I've had enough pain already. I just want it to end.

 

[Parnate]

I had almost given up but I have been trying various supplements and they do help. The first few ones were trial and error . But some have been very helpful. I am using phosphatidylserine and it is helping, it has been just a few days though.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

They say until you decide for yourself you don't want to be in this bad place you are anymore, it's not gonna change…. And I guess there's some grain of truth to it. But it's also true it's gonna be a painful process… and I haven't been through much but I myself can't seem to overcome the state that I am. I don't have people to support me emotionally irl and my future is bleak… so I think I understand where you're coming from…. So ultimately you really need to decide whether you wanna take this chance and go through this painful experience in hopes to have a better life or not…. It's an important decision…. Maybe there's something really good worth living for. Or maybe there's not…
Apologies if I'm not being helpful

 

[kyhoti]

I don't want to be Debbie Downer, but I want to weigh in here, to share my experience. To recover is an attempt to regain something lost. If what caused the loss was painful, then it's highly likely that you'll have to process that pain to come to a place of acceptance.

I'm not going to sugar-coat it: it is indeed exhausting. It can be frustrating, frightening, depressing and a whole lot of other "negative" shit. Recovery can also be liberating, joyful, peaceful, etc., usually a mix of both sides.

I spent years clawing and fighting to regain some semblance of normalcy and peace. Now, at the end, part if me thinks it was a waste and the other part is grateful that I had the opportunity to try. That's just my blunt opinion, others' experience may differ. Best of luck making your choice of journey.