ma0
How did I get here?
- Dec 20, 2024
- 165
I live in a seaside town right next to the ocean, and basically everywhere you go there's a vast view of the sea. You would think that I'd always admire the gorgeous views, right? Well no. Everything to me is just really boring. I find no enjoyment from anything anymore.
I was in Scotland a few weeks ago because my family wanted me up there for new years. We did quite a lot but all of it just blended into eachother and felt like nothing. It's been like this for years, where the only time I feel enjoyment is temporary small boosts of dopamine from dumb shit like Youtube.
I'm so blase to literally everything. I can't remember the last time being outside has netted any kind of reaction other than apathy. I see videos on NicoNico of gorgeous japanese waterfalls, and I wish that I could be there. Yet, I know for a fact that if I was there, I'd just be bored out of my mind.
What can I do that would make me feel something? Anything?
I just want to look at something and say "Damn, that's beautiful." But that's been literally impossible for me for years.
I was in Scotland a few weeks ago because my family wanted me up there for new years. We did quite a lot but all of it just blended into eachother and felt like nothing. It's been like this for years, where the only time I feel enjoyment is temporary small boosts of dopamine from dumb shit like Youtube.
I'm so blase to literally everything. I can't remember the last time being outside has netted any kind of reaction other than apathy. I see videos on NicoNico of gorgeous japanese waterfalls, and I wish that I could be there. Yet, I know for a fact that if I was there, I'd just be bored out of my mind.
What can I do that would make me feel something? Anything?
I just want to look at something and say "Damn, that's beautiful." But that's been literally impossible for me for years.