Discussion Notifying family in the case of assisted suicide.

[Forever Sleep]

I've just come across this case on YouTube:

A trigger warning here. It contains family members speaking out against assisted suicide, the decission of suicide itself and Pegasos. I found both it and the comment section extremely triggering:



To summarize a few points: A family member claimed it was 'the wrong decision for her.' They were mainly angry that they hadn't been informed although, she did leave a note behind. Pegasos had also promised to inform family members after an earlier case with another UK citizen who chose not to inform his family.

Plus, you've got some of the old chesnuts in the comment section: 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.' 'This is murder.' Even a good old wrath of God: 'Suicides burn in hell' comment. To be fair though, there are a good amount of pro-choice comments too- which is reasuring.

What I wanted to discuss was: Do you think your family would react like this? I imagine the reason she didn't inform her family is because they react like this! Her friends seemed aware of her decision. I imagine someone would have gone with her also. I fear for them- witnessing her families reaction.

From what was hinted at, it seems as if she fell into depression after her son suicided. I find it ironic really that they expected her to get over that while now insisting that her suicide is catastrophic for them. You'd think the experience would make them more sympathetic to what she went through.

I don't know. I just find myself getting angry- which isn't all that fair because they are grieving- obviously and, we don't know the full situation.

I doubt Pegasos do take people lightly either. I know they are more open than Dignitas but I thought they did require proof that a person has been suffering extensively for a long time while being treatment resistant. Also, we don't know what she may have said to them. Perhaps she assured them that she had in fact informed family members.

I suppose my main question is: Should it be a requirement that family members are informed? I suppose moving forward, I think they will have to be, seeing as this is the kind of backlash that happens otherwise.

Overall, I also think we should be open to be talking about these things. Perhaps if people felt more free to express ideation at the start, they might get support at that point- which could actually make a difference for some. I suspect though, some families will just try to get their 'loved one' sectioned! It's no wonder many don't speak up.

I suppose in principle, as adults, we should be free to not have to inform family. However, practically and sustainably speaking, I think they will have to be informed. To get things to change too- it needs to be out in the open: This many people are so unhappy that they are considering taking their own lives. Why and, what can be done to either better support them or, acknowledge that some can't be helped. What are your thoughts?

 

[SVEN]

Why would I base my well thought out plans on the possible beliefs and prejudices of family members ? Preparing for and undergoing everything involved in assisted suicide is surely emotionally stressfull enough to be getting on with without being battered by family members with hostile views playing on my heartstrings in a storm of emotional blackmail to change my settled decision. Or threatening me with eternal damnation should I go ahead.
The choice is mine, if I believe that they'll be hostile to my ctb then I have every right to shine them on.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I suppose in principle, as adults, we should be free to not have to inform family.

This.

As adults we can decide where we want to go and when we want to go without telling anyone of our family.

If there was more understanding for such decisions people would probably talk about all this stuff with their families.

But in this case it would've led to nowhere rather than more suffering.

Eventually they will get over it and will understand her decision.

RIP

 

[roommate]

The organisation did reply that she suffered from lonelyness, where were was the family before this happened?
They received a note from the sister and decided to make the whole situation public.

On the otherside it's very sad to see the family in major grief and having a hard time coping.
I also have questions wether the woman who lost her son could have been healed, there is no information about if she asked for help before.

Very sad overall though

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

I suppose in principle, as adults, we should be free to not have to inform family. However, practically and sustainably speaking, I think they will have to be informed. To get things to change too- it needs to be out in the open: This many people are so unhappy that they are considering taking their own lives. Why and, what can be done to either better support them or, acknowledge that some can't be helped. What are your thoughts?

This. I agree with this. I think that if they don't want to inform their family, there should be therapy sessions unpacking that. If its just out of fear of disappointment or something idk then, maybe try to get the family. If its out of fear of abuse or manipulation then, maybe not

 

[Forever Sleep]

This. I agree with this. I think that if they don't want to inform their family, there should be therapy sessions unpacking that. If its just out of fear of disappointment or something idk then, maybe try to get the family. If its out of fear of abuse or manipulation then, maybe not

This seems very sensible to me. If assisted suicide programmes do eventually come in and, if they are available to people other than those suffering with terminal illness- you'd hope the 'clients' were fully assessed before being accepted. To ensure that they were in fact of aware of all the support available to them. Not necessarily that they would be obliged to jump through multiple hoops of fire to be eligible but, that they had at least carefully considered it.

I suppose I imagined that's what did happen though. I thought these sorts of clinics required proof of (failed) treatment. If it was so easy to get accepted, I'd imagine we'd all be applying.

I think there are multiple benefits to informing families. One being that they could properly say goodbye, adjust to the decision so it wasn't such a shock, be with them at the end even. Plus, possible receive therapy themselves. Still- some families would absolutely react in a very volatile way. In which case, it's no real wonder people keep it all secret.

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

This seems very sensible to me. If assisted suicide programmes do eventually come in and, if they are available to people other than those suffering with terminal illness- you'd hope the 'clients' were fully assessed before being accepted. To ensure that they were in fact of aware of all the support available to them. Not necessarily that they would be obliged to jump through multiple hoops of fire to be eligible but, that they had at least carefully considered it.

I suppose I imagined that's what did happen though. I thought these sorts of clinics required proof of (failed) treatment. If it was so easy to get accepted, I'd imagine we'd all be applying.

I think there are multiple benefits to informing families. One being that they could properly say goodbye, adjust to the decision so it wasn't such a shock, be with them at the end even. Plus, possible receive therapy themselves. Still- some families would absolutely react in a very volatile way. In which case, it's no real wonder people keep it all secret.

I'm sure they got through all the necessary steps twice over with mhas.


I guess I just think about it like a hospice patient. Sometimes the family doesn't show because there's more to the story. That doesn't mean that the people who are showing up are bad, but it means there's a reason and they are comfortable knowing that it will go to the grave with them. Same with mhas. They probably went through trauma with their family and is willing to go to the grave with it instead of facing it. I think we should respect that especially if we are saying they are of sound mind.