Had OCD all my life. Hid it from everyone and never been diagnosed. TBH the doctors can fuck off on this one. I tried a higher dosage of Prozac once for depression but it disassociated me.
Booze used to help, but that's destroyed my health and brought me here.
Being utterly suicidal last year made the ocd vanish. I mean, who cares about extra dread and forbidding when you are like that anyway?
But now, trying harder, the OCD is back and it's bad. I manage, but it does piss me off and make me feel utterly insane.
Having to tie the left boot lace just right or the world is really going to end, and no matter how many times I tie it, it's never right, so I leave the house expecting bad shit to happen and if it does, well it's because of not completing some stupid random shit exactly right.
It's an utter disconnect between logic and emotion and I've never found a way to combat it, except Prozac which stopped working or booze which destroyed my life.