Help On the verge of pulling out of depression, need encouragement to make music again

[unperson]

Feeling passionate about music again but I feel I need to catch and hang onto this before it slips away. As a teenager I'd spend 5+ hours a day on guitar for several years doing that. Hadn't been playing during this last depression. But I want to be passionate about composing, playing, recording music again. Maybe it can save my life maybe it can't who knows but I do know that without it I don't even feel like I know who the fuck I am. I think it's what I need to be doing. I'll teach anyone online for free everything I know about music theory and composing is anyone wants to learn. I was giving guitar/music lessons for a bit before my mental health took one of its nosedives.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I feel this way about art and drawing. I wish I could say more ... I suck at trying to comfort people.

Hey... so for you you're passionate about guitars and composing/etc music. What if you set a small goal? Like, do one music related thing a day and work your way up from that?

Um.. another idea. I'm passionate about art and drawing, and you are passionate about music.... but we're both depressed and find it really hard to do these things. We could be like, accountability buddies or something? I can send you a sketch every few days.. and in return you could send me a recording of a little song. it doesn't have to be one that you wrote.. it can be any song you like.

Or we could make a thread. I know there's already an art thread on here.

That kind of sounds overwhelming though too.. lol.. maybe we could try it one time and see if it helps?

 

[MindFog]

What if you set a small goal? Like, do one music related thing a day

I agree with this. It's so easy to get overwhelmed especially when it's a passion of yours. Try not to get burnt out. Maybe dip your toes first before jumping in, yah?

And don't forget to go easy on yourself. Don't be dissapointed if you hit a learning curve. It might be quite a while since you last did this, afterall.

There's alot of music junkies in SS. I'm pretty sure they'll enjoy talking with you about it too.

Proud of you already.

 

[Pookie]

Great that you want to start playing music again. Would it be difficult to get back into giving guitar and music lessons? I think it's a great idea. Is there anywhere you can advertise your services? I'm sure you'll get a lot of interest if you initially offer it for free and then later you can start charging for it once word of mouth gets around (because obviously everyone needs to make a living, unless you already make a living doing something else.)

Failing that you can always offer to play music at children's weddings.

 

[Weary Soul]

Music junkie here : )

Music has always been a passion of mine (~10 years of piano lessons, ~2 years of guitar, other C instrument that I learned by ear, and also had very basic music theory). Funny thing is, I took all of those years of lessons, but still tend to play by ear and put my own spin on songs.

I don't know if it is the same for you, but when I was a child, music was my way to express my pain without anyone in my abusive environment realizing - and wow, did I pound out some classical music that was supposed to be staid and soft in tone - used to give my teachers fits cause I was not 'drawing within the lines' so to speak : )

It was also a great way to get out of my head and lost in 'another realm.' You sound pretty talented from what you wrote. Sounds like you have a unique gift in that you can compose original songs - I wish I could create music like that - it would be nice to create my own unique realm for a brief respite from life.

Couple of ideas:

Guided meditation/hypnosis. I don't know if you believe in these types of things but I have personally found them helpful (and I am always a bit of a cynic/skeptic). You can find a lot of these on YouTube (there are all sorts of videos for guided meditation/hypnosis - many of which you can listen to as you sleep and some of which include suggestions to help with motivation or other things someone might need help with).

Another idea? Maybe start a YouTube channel to teach some of what you know and to upload your music. You can make it public if you are comfortable with that or private (only for you and for those you choose to share it with).

If you want to start slow? Maybe start by holding the guitar, softly beating a rhythm on the body of the guitar or something else just to get a rhythm going in your head, tuning, strumming through chords for a bit, scales, etc.

Just some suggestions. <3

 

[Pookie]

That's a great idea from @Weary Soul: "Maybe start a YouTube channel to teach some of what you know and to upload your music. You can make it public if you are comfortable with that or private (only for you and for those you choose to share it with).

 

[Weary Soul]

Thanks @Pookie : )

I actually created my own channel for this reason.

I started to create short videos with music. It has really helped me to get out of my head and I lose time with it - always a bonus for me. Mine are amateurish at best since I have no training in this - but it doesn't really matter if it helps escape from my head for a bit :)

<3

 

[Pookie]

Thanks @Pookie : )

I actually created my own channel for this reason.

I started to create short videos with music. It has really helped me to get out of my head and I lose time with it - always a bonus for me. Mine are amateurish at best since I have no training in this - but it doesn't really matter if it helps escape from my head for a bit :)

<3

Do you have a following at all or is it private?

 

[Weary Soul]

@Pookie, it is set to public, but I do not know of any following. One subscriber. :)

I have been pretty quiet about the channel - my most popular video has close to 400 views, and I started this ~6 months ago just drawing or taking photos/free graphic art and then animating it and adding music (very, very basic).

@NamelessBeing, if you do decide to create a YouTube channel, don't click on links in any comments you might receive. Some insert malware links in comments. Also, make sure to protect your identity if that is important to you.

While I am likely getting way ahead of myself here (and where you might be right now - not to mention that you may already know all of what I am about to write), some other things you can do to promote your offer of free lessons to a wider audience is to create that YouTube channel and then add to it by creating a blog/podcast using WordPress (checkout reverbnation there if interested - it is a blog site that offers a lot of incentives for composers). You can also create a marketplace on FB where you can offer free lessons. All of these accounts can be linked. (There are additional ways to promote your offer using social media ... but I will stop there... and my apologies if I am repeating anything you already know!).

For the actual lessons (either to individuals or a group), you can create your own server in discord (a 3rd-party provider) and use their free audio/video feature (and it is free both internationally and domestically). Within discord, you can also upload videos you have made or link them (from your YouTube channel) and still maintain/protect your anonymity if that is important to you.

I have no doubts that if you do all of this, you may well be overwhelmed by how many people take you up on your offer for free lessons. I would if I could. It has long been a dream of mine to pick up guitar again and play the classical music I have already learned via piano. I would also love to learn traditional Flamenco Spanish music on guitar. In the movie Crossroads, Ralph Macchio played Turkish Rondo (or alla turca) and I was hooked! Also, that final scene in crossroads where they battle it out with electric guitars? Some beautiful music there. : )

Most importantly, please go at a pace that is good, healthy, and comfortable for you! I learned all of this little-by-little over about a year and I am old enough to have an original Nintendo game (the original Mario brothers and duck hunt)! So if I can do it, anyone can : )

I am sorry if this is overwhelming to you right now @NamelessBeing... little steps at first if needed and just some potentials that you might be interested in.

Come to think of it, Mat (@WornOutLife), who is so supportive of everyone here, is also a teacher and, by his writings here, it sounds as though he really loves his job. He could likely offer the same thing if this is something he might be interested in (world-wide teaching and tutoring).
Heya Mat sorry to speak of you with someone else - I just thought that this is something you might also like to do or might be interested in.

Much love to all of you!!!

Thanks again @Pookie : )

 

[WornOutLife]

Hello, Eren-kun.

OMG! You make music? I love you even more now!!
I have always wanted to learn to play any music instrument but I just suck haha.

You should keep on going!! There are lots of possibilities out there and I think music will really help you to move on because it's something you like. In my case, it's learning languages.

Hobbies are just...amazing!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[unperson]

So sorry if I was a let down,.. this is part of my issue and why I'm here. I can't retain or predict future motivation or even face talking to people about how hard it is sometimes and then I procrastinate and avoid people and then feel guilty and awful. The absolute truth is I have no fucking idea what the future holds or what I will do or be capable of doing. I keep trying again and again and again. It's tiring. I haven't even thoroughly read the above posts yet. Been too afraid and ashamed. I'll read them now

I feel this way about art and drawing. I wish I could say more ... I suck at trying to comfort people.

Hey... so for you you're passionate about guitars and composing/etc music. What if you set a small goal? Like, do one music related thing a day and work your way up from that?

Um.. another idea. I'm passionate about art and drawing, and you are passionate about music.... but we're both depressed and find it really hard to do these things. We could be like, accountability buddies or something? I can send you a sketch every few days.. and in return you could send me a recording of a little song. it doesn't have to be one that you wrote.. it can be any song you like.

Or we could make a thread. I know there's already an art thread on here.

That kind of sounds overwhelming though too.. lol.. maybe we could try it one time and see if it helps?

Well I can't make promises even when I desperately want to. But I really like your reply. Thank you. I don't know right now but thank you

I agree with this. It's so easy to get overwhelmed especially when it's a passion of yours. Try not to get burnt out. Maybe dip your toes first before jumping in, yah?

And don't forget to go easy on yourself. Don't be dissapointed if you hit a learning curve. It might be quite a while since you last did this, afterall.

There's alot of music junkies in SS. I'm pretty sure they'll enjoy talking with you about it too.

Proud of you already.

Thanks.. not feeling proud atm but that's ok

Great that you want to start playing music again. Would it be difficult to get back into giving guitar and music lessons? I think it's a great idea. Is there anywhere you can advertise your services? I'm sure you'll get a lot of interest if you initially offer it for free and then later you can start charging for it once word of mouth gets around (because obviously everyone needs to make a living, unless you already make a living doing something else.)

Failing that you can always offer to play music at children's weddings.

Yeah it would be hard.. it's hard to brush my teeth and shower everyday so.. but your words are appreciated. Maybe if I inject some stem cells into my frontal lobes I can grow some executive functioning and motivation neurons idk

Music junkie here : )

Music has always been a passion of mine (~10 years of piano lessons, ~2 years of guitar, other C instrument that I learned by ear, and also had very basic music theory). Funny thing is, I took all of those years of lessons, but still tend to play by ear and put my own spin on songs.

I don't know if it is the same for you, but when I was a child, music was my way to express my pain without anyone in my abusive environment realizing - and wow, did I pound out some classical music that was supposed to be staid and soft in tone - used to give my teachers fits cause I was not 'drawing within the lines' so to speak : )

It was also a great way to get out of my head and lost in 'another realm.' You sound pretty talented from what you wrote. Sounds like you have a unique gift in that you can compose original songs - I wish I could create music like that - it would be nice to create my own unique realm for a brief respite from life.

Couple of ideas:

Guided meditation/hypnosis. I don't know if you believe in these types of things but I have personally found them helpful (and I am always a bit of a cynic/skeptic). You can find a lot of these on YouTube (there are all sorts of videos for guided meditation/hypnosis - many of which you can listen to as you sleep and some of which include suggestions to help with motivation or other things someone might need help with).

Another idea? Maybe start a YouTube channel to teach some of what you know and to upload your music. You can make it public if you are comfortable with that or private (only for you and for those you choose to share it with).

If you want to start slow? Maybe start by holding the guitar, softly beating a rhythm on the body of the guitar or something else just to get a rhythm going in your head, tuning, strumming through chords for a bit, scales, etc.

Just some suggestions. <3

Very relatable! You like Glenn Gould? And uh, fuck I'm sorry if this is sad but I refuse to be disingenuous; the talent and creativity by itself won't bring happiness in the midst of depression and it sure as hell has the shortest fleeting effect on distracting from the pain of loneliness. See I spent my time as a teen playing and creating music mostly by myself.. not learning how to do homework and pass classes and make plenty of friends, etc, just doing music but not even learning songs just playing different things with full blown music adhd and playing spontaneously unique shit that was then lost forever and never heard by anyone else and gone from memory and holy shit I'm being a sad motherfucker lol. And.... for the grand profoundly sad tragedy finale; I've only just read your comments (which are all awesome btw and thank you because these were good suggestions) and yet I've already tried and tried again all those things meditation, hypnosis, starting small, like I could say a lot about my experiences with each of these things and what I've learned. Oh and have had multiple youtube channels.. Ugh I'm sorry :( ... I really honestly don't even know for sure wtf is wrong in my brain but there's gotta be some missing piece.

Hello, Eren-kun.

OMG! You make music? I love you even more now!!
I have always wanted to learn to play any music instrument but I just suck haha.

You should keep on going!! There are lots of possibilities out there and I think music will really help you to move on because it's something you like. In my case, it's learning languages.

Hobbies are just...amazing!

Hugs and love,

Matt

I'm going to skip down to your comment in case I don't have the energy to reply to each one here. Fuck I'm sorry man. Idk if you'll even read this. Yeah, I used to be into Japanese too, & you feel like a good friend I've never met. I know you have left the site and feel bad that I didn't even read this sooner. Anyway thanks so much, and ya know learning languages is pretty similar to learning music theory. Having a conversation kinda like playing the music. Thanks Matt and I'll see if I can find your YouTube to maybe message you there to you get this. Hope you're doing well!

 

[Weary Soul]

Hey -

No need to apologize.

They were just some suggestions from what used to help me when I was a kid. That is all. You have to do you, and only you will be able to figure out what might work.

I am sorry your work from when you were younger seems lost. It is inn your head somewehere - it might just need some delving in there to find it. : )

I think I have ADD (just not the H part of the diangosis - my mind and focus, not to mention how I get back ito my art these days, is all over the place).

Again. please never apologize to me for who you are ever.

Sorry if this did not make much sense - I am beyond exhausted and in pain tonight ((or today actually). I will re-read later today if I can,.

<3

 

[unperson]

Great that you want to start playing music again. Would it be difficult to get back into giving guitar and music lessons? I think it's a great idea. Is there anywhere you can advertise your services? I'm sure you'll get a lot of interest if you initially offer it for free and then later you can start charging for it once word of mouth gets around (because obviously everyone needs to make a living, unless you already make a living doing something else.)

Failing that you can always offer to play music at children's weddings.

Wait..... children's weddings? :|

That's a great idea from @Weary Soul: "Maybe start a YouTube channel to teach some of what you know and to upload your music. You can make it public if you are comfortable with that or private (only for you and for those you choose to share it with).

Yes this is a good idea. I really hope I do this

Thanks @Pookie : )

I actually created my own channel for this reason.

I started to create short videos with music. It has really helped me to get out of my head and I lose time with it - always a bonus for me. Mine are amateurish at best since I have no training in this - but it doesn't really matter if it helps escape from my head for a bit :)

<3

Couldn't agree more!

 

[Pookie]

Wait..... children's weddings? :|

That was obviously just a joke :-)

I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

 

[unperson]

@Pookie, it is set to public, but I do not know of any following. One subscriber. :)

I have been pretty quiet about the channel - my most popular video has close to 400 views, and I started this ~6 months ago just drawing or taking photos/free graphic art and then animating it and adding music (very, very basic).

@NamelessBeing, if you do decide to create a YouTube channel, don't click on links in any comments you might receive. Some insert malware links in comments. Also, make sure to protect your identity if that is important to you.

While I am likely getting way ahead of myself here (and where you might be right now - not to mention that you may already know all of what I am about to write), some other things you can do to promote your offer of free lessons to a wider audience is to create that YouTube channel and then add to it by creating a blog/podcast using WordPress (checkout reverbnation there if interested - it is a blog site that offers a lot of incentives for composers). You can also create a marketplace on FB where you can offer free lessons. All of these accounts can be linked. (There are additional ways to promote your offer using social media ... but I will stop there... and my apologies if I am repeating anything you already know!).

For the actual lessons (either to individuals or a group), you can create your own server in discord (a 3rd-party provider) and use their free audio/video feature (and it is free both internationally and domestically). Within discord, you can also upload videos you have made or link them (from your YouTube channel) and still maintain/protect your anonymity if that is important to you.

I have no doubts that if you do all of this, you may well be overwhelmed by how many people take you up on your offer for free lessons. I would if I could. It has long been a dream of mine to pick up guitar again and play the classical music I have already learned via piano. I would also love to learn traditional Flamenco Spanish music on guitar. In the movie Crossroads, Ralph Macchio played Turkish Rondo (or alla turca) and I was hooked! Also, that final scene in crossroads where they battle it out with electric guitars? Some beautiful music there. : )

Most importantly, please go at a pace that is good, healthy, and comfortable for you! I learned all of this little-by-little over about a year and I am old enough to have an original Nintendo game (the original Mario brothers and duck hunt)! So if I can do it, anyone can : )

I am sorry if this is overwhelming to you right now @NamelessBeing... little steps at first if needed and just some potentials that you might be interested in.

Come to think of it, Mat (@WornOutLife), who is so supportive of everyone here, is also a teacher and, by his writings here, it sounds as though he really loves his job. He could likely offer the same thing if this is something he might be interested in (world-wide teaching and tutoring).
Heya Mat sorry to speak of you with someone else - I just thought that this is something you might also like to do or might be interested in.

Much love to all of you!!!

Thanks again @Pookie : )

Oh thanks for the malware tip! And I don't even think I have an identity at this point xD but also thanks for your replies

Hey -

No need to apologize.

They were just some suggestions from what used to help me when I was a kid. That is all. You have to do you, and only you will be able to figure out what might work.

I am sorry your work from when you were younger seems lost. It is inn your head somewehere - it might just need some delving in there to find it. : )

I think I have ADD (just not the H part of the diangosis - my mind and focus, not to mention how I get back ito my art these days, is all over the place).

Again. please never apologize to me for who you are ever.

Sorry if this did not make much sense - I am beyond exhausted and in pain tonight ((or today actually). I will re-read later today if I can,.

<3

Yeah thanks, you're pretty nice. And ADD/ADHD are both terrible names anyways, it's not a lack of attention or hyperactivity; it's executive dysfunction which effects ones sense of time, urgency and importance of things which gets all distorted from the time blindness plus the working memory is shot and the self-control component has to work extra hard for regular tasks which wears on ones emotional resilience, and knowledge is stored in a different part of the brain which is why learning a lot does fuck all to help an ADDer to properly function. There's also motivational inconsistencies and prevalent cognitive blind spots and developmental gaps and then of course the common normie-layperson's non-clinical perception and bias and misunderstanding of what it's like. And relentlessly invalidating comments about just being lazy and wasting potential. Like what is this potential thing..? If someone had the reverse; low intelligence but was very high functioning at doing menial tasks, people aren't like 'oh look at that person he has potential, he has a lot of motivation but needs to stop being intellectually lazy and challenged' but when it comes to executive dysfunction and depression and other stuff too I'm sure people often attribute this concept of freewill and the ability to make choices —well let's call it willpower because freewill is a tenuous contentious topic but willpower is a real brain function: it's not a virtue, it's an ability; a mental strength, it can be strengthened yes but also there are limits and there are mental issues, after all I read a book on it and was horrified and disillusioned to the fact that simply getting myself to do the simple willpower exercises was fucking hard—though I also have severe depression so this isn't just adhd but they can certainly compound each other, so anyway uh what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you made perfect sense to me. I remember part of David Foster Wallace interview where he's like am I making sense? And I was thinking dude that was the most eloquent profoundly relatable shit u just talked about. Sorry you're in pain I hope you feel better soon. And thanks for reading this and replying to it. :)

That was obviously just a joke :-)

I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

Ok I wasn't sure if it was a weird mistype lol and thanks and same to you

Oh thanks for the malware tip! And I don't even think I have an identity at this point xD but also thanks for your replies

Yeah thanks, you're pretty nice. And ADD/ADHD are both terrible names anyways, it's not a lack of attention or hyperactivity; it's executive dysfunction which effects ones sense of time, urgency and importance of things which gets all distorted from the time blindness plus the working memory is shot and the self-control component has to work extra hard for regular tasks which wears on ones emotional resilience, and knowledge is stored in a different part of the brain which is why learning a lot does fuck all to help an ADDer to properly function. There's also motivational inconsistencies and prevalent cognitive blind spots and developmental gaps and then of course the common normie-layperson's non-clinical perception and bias and misunderstanding of what it's like. And relentlessly invalidating comments about just being lazy and wasting potential. Like what is this potential thing..? If someone had the reverse; low intelligence but was very high functioning at doing menial tasks, people aren't like 'oh look at that person he has potential, he has a lot of motivation but needs to stop being intellectually lazy and challenged' but when it comes to executive dysfunction and depression and other stuff too I'm sure people often attribute this concept of freewill and the ability to make choices —well let's call it willpower because freewill is a tenuous contentious topic but willpower is a real brain function: it's not a virtue, it's an ability; a mental strength, it can be strengthened yes but also there are limits and there are mental issues, after all I read a book on it and was horrified and disillusioned to the fact that simply getting myself to do the simple willpower exercises was fucking hard—though I also have severe depression so this isn't just adhd but they can certainly compound each other, so anyway uh what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you made perfect sense to me. I remember part of David Foster Wallace interview where he's like am I making sense? And I was thinking dude that was the most eloquent profoundly relatable shit u just talked about. Sorry you're in pain I hope you feel better soon. And thanks for reading this and replying to it. :)

Ok I wasn't sure if it was a weird mistype lol and thanks and same to you

Oh and in regard to attention it's a matter of attention regulation not deficit. There's also the understimulation an resulting impulsivity and stimulation seeking. A limited ability to control attention like not blocking things out or absent mindedly blocking important things out. It's all a spectrum so these monstrosities of brain imbalances and dysfunction can be relatively mild and innocuous or downright debilitating and life-ruining not to mention highly comorbid with other issues

 

[LastFlowers]

I am of similar interests and unfulfilled passion, among many others, unfortunately I don't have the energy or motivation to indulge it, I'm on my way out of this hellscape.
But I think it's nice you're willing to not only pursue your musical endeavors, but help others with your knowledge for free.
I would take you up on that but I know I would be wasting your time.
Regardless, good luck!

 

[unperson]

I am of similar interests and unfulfilled passion, among many others, unfortunately I don't have the energy or motivation to indulge it, I'm on my way out of this hellscape.
But I think it's nice you're willing to not only pursue your musical endeavors, but help others with your knowledge for free.
I would take you up on that but I know I would be wasting your time.
Regardless, good luck!

Not having energy sucks and sorry you struggle that way :( thanks for the kind reply