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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
Hey everyone, how do y'all deal with one sided crushes? Everytime I have crush on someone it's always one sided, i understand that because I'm not a very likable person but I just need some advice and help on how to cope with it. I've been eating benzos, drinking alcohol for now but it's not enough and I can't keep doing that forever. I need some advice, please help me how to cope. It's really hard thinking about a person all the time while knowing you can't even be with them. How do I delete my thoughts AAARHH
 
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stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
Taking a step back and noticing that non of my feelings were reciprocated.

Then starting stage 2 which is:

1. Ignoring the person and their actions
2. Distracting myself as much as possible plus confiding in a good friend
3. Finding someone else
 
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foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
Ah this is a tough one I've dealt with too. It's such a deflating and depressing experience. The best thing I've done is completely cut them out of my life. If that's not possible, it takes some mental effort to overcome. There's no easy answer for this sadly, the heart wants what it wants, either way. Try to limit contact with them and start accepting the other person's feelings. It hurts but it's all that's ever worked for me tbh.

But don't give up! You seem like a likable person who is just struggling. One day crushes align or you could have someone who you're not interested in crushing on you. It's kinda of a lame answer I guess, but anything is possible!
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,206
Every infatuation I've ever had turned out to be one-sided even when it wasn't at first.

Only way out I can see is to find someone else but I know that's way easier said than done.
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
If I realize someone isn't into me, my attraction towards them immediately disappears. So while I may not know exactly how this feels, I can say this. First off, alcohol and benzos can potentially exacerbate negative feelings and make you ruminate further, even it simultaneously helps at the same time. It's a very odd thing. However, If you've been binging on them, it will probably make you feel worse when you stop. So, that's a little tricky. Distractions are your best bet right now and also avoiding communication with that person and anything that reminds you of them. Choosing a new crush always works. I have actually done this before, except for a different reason. I had a crush on someone at my old job, but they left. So I literally just picked someone else, kind of just said, "eh, they'll do" and the strange thing was that the attraction started to grow quickly and intensely. It's kind of like when you develop a crush on someone just because you had a dream about them. Of course, I know simply picking a new crush is much easier said than done. I know none of this is good advice or very useful, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope this gets better for you.
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
Ah this is a tough one I've dealt with too. It's such a deflating and depressing experience. The best thing I've done is completely cut them out of my life. If that's not possible, it takes some mental effort to overcome. There's no easy answer for this sadly, the heart wants what it wants, either way. Try to limit contact with them and start accepting the other person's feelings. It hurts but it's all that's ever worked for me tbh.

But don't give up! You seem like a likable person who is just struggling. One day crushes align or you could have someone who you're not interested in crushing on you. It's kinda of a lame answer I guess, but anything is possible!
Yeah, I was expecting this sort of answer. I guess you just have to move on and try to forget about them. It's very exhausting tho, I wish I could just have amnesia and forget it.
If I realize someone isn't into me, my attraction towards them immediately disappears. So while I may not know exactly how this feels, I can say this. First off, alcohol and benzos can potentially exacerbate negative feelings and make you ruminate further, even it simultaneously helps at the same time. It's a very odd thing. However, If you've been binging on them, it will probably make you feel worse when you stop. So, that's a little tricky. Distractions are your best bet right now and also avoiding communication with that person and anything that reminds you of them. Choosing a new crush always works. I have actually done this before, except for a different reason. I had a crush on someone at my old job, but they left. So I literally just picked someone else, kind of just said, "eh, they'll do" and the strange thing was that the attraction started to grow quickly and intensely. It's kind of like when you develop a crush on someone just because you had a dream about them. Of course, I know simply picking a new crush is much easier said than done. I know none of this is good advice or very useful, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope this gets better for you.
Don't worry, I'm not addicted to them and it's hard for my body to be dependent on something. For me benzos and alcohol have been helping me new sue they numb my mind and my brain feels like it's empty. (Not that that's very different from the reality :pfff:)

I guess that's true, it's just easier said than done.
 
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CogitoMori

Student
Oct 21, 2024
172
I don't know. Mine never go away until they do something to hurt me.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,069
It's all been one sided limerence for me. I'm better at stopping it before it starts now though. (An obsessive crush on someone totally unobtainable.) I'm better at dumping these feelings on fictional characters now. (Much safer.)
 

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