Venting One week off depression on pregablin and it’s back again…plus it’s made me so constipated Just went back over my old posts -earliest is 2019

[LittleJem]

Sorry for TMI. Today has been shit. I went to care in community activity and am the most depressed and friendless person there.

My stomach is in knots. I think it's a side effect of the pregablin. I was actually just about functioned at the weekend and it's gone again. The pregablin worked for a week.

My boyfriend tells me I am going through a bad spell. Yeah. A permanent one.

I keep running out of money for food but I need more drugs.

I don't know how to manage any of this. The whole day has just been suffering, comfort eating, and more suffering.

 

[Tharg123]

Bless you. I know - it is excruciating and you think you will never escape the feeling. It will lessen, though, one way or another - and then it will be less painful. Patience, impossible though it is. I have been in a total hole for weeks; right now and a few times over the last couple of days it's been slightly better and although things will never be 'good' I am grateful for the times it's less bad. It's like not having a cold any more.

I bet the community activity thing was triggering. Can imagine that totally. You might just need to recover from it for a while...

A friend reminded me yesterday of an image she'd seen in a book years ago that helps her sometimes. Of a dog (the depression), and the owner tricking it by throwing a stick for it, over a cliff... It is a bit of a weird image but the idea of using whatever tactic one can to get out of it for a while.... My one that has helped me this time (it won't last long, and won't work again) is: that we are just blips. Our lives are short, meaningless pop-ups on the endless screen of the universe. That if we think of ourselves as important, of our lives as important, then we are pitting ourselves in a struggle against the universe which is a struggle we can't win. I think these were internet-gleaned superficial bits from Buddhism. Suffering. To be avoided. Meaning doesn't matter. It helps momentarily, or did me, this time.

Hoping that it lifts for you at least for a while soon and that you get a breather. It will come. If you can help make a little bit of space, somehow or other, using whatever trick that comes to mind.... Just little spaces. Sometimes they coalesce and you get a bigger space.

Hang on in there.

 

[LittleJem]

Because of how bad it has been for years I haven't had awareness of the time passing. I had many years of suffering before this forum, then recorded on this forum since 2019 are FIVE years of suffering. Been in this daily hell for so long. It is hopeless.