Original post in r/depression. Posting here because trying to improve my life.

[GoldLeafIndigo]

Seriously guys, I know we are all ages of depressed here, and I would never say stupid shit to minors and 20-somethings like, "You've got your whole life ahead of you. That's horrific to someone who is young and suicidal.

But for f**ks sake, being over 50 with an (apparently useless) fine arts degree and never making more than $15.00/hr is it's own kind of financial & existential hell.

Toxic shame doesn't help my mental state, so I'm trying to let it go, I've done the best I can. I'm at the point where I'm probably going to have to take out loans for more education, because the government doesn't want to give grants to people who already have degrees. Neither do social service agencies. Been there. Done that.

I've got a sweet credit score and no debt, but I will never retire, I have no savings, and if I attempted to have a car, I'd probably be in debt. I'm one of those weird people who has never owned a car, because: Poor, and history of disassociation.

I say the following, not out of depression, but out of practicality: I'm going to need to research accurate, lethal suicide options for myself as an insurance policy. I don't have any family or friends who would take care of me if/when my health deteriorates too much to work.

I'm a cool person, but a low income, mid 50's non-driving androgynous woman with PTSD is not most people's idea of a "catch".

Please tell me I'm not the only weirdo of my kind out here.

 

[noaccount]

I'm not in your age group but I relate to this a lot. Hi.

 

[timf]

With your degree but being on the low end of the employment spectrum, you might be able to work at a temp agency and get exposure to various employment opportunities that you otherwise might not find.

I am in my 70s now, but when I was a manager, I would look for older employees because they did not cause the trouble one had with many who were younger.

I would suggest doing some volunteer work such as reading to the elderly in a nursing home which might expand your circle of acquaintances.

 

[Sherri]

With your degree but being on the low end of the employment spectrum, you might be able to work at a temp agency and get exposure to various employment opportunities that you otherwise might not find.

I am in my 70s now, but when I was a manager, I would look for older employees because they did not cause the trouble one had with many who were younger.

I would suggest doing some volunteer work such as reading to the elderly in a nursing home which might expand your circle of acquaintances.

Im also not in any age group, but age is just a number, it's what's inside your brain that counts. I did a lot of volunteer work and helped me a lot so I agree with this idea of yours. I've even Been through low Risk prisioners with my volunteer organisation, sousing, play games, etc. I have an inmate that gave me a Columbus ship made of matches, think I've mentioned thus before, was one of the best gifts I've had, have it on my shelve. Lately I haven't done it for a year, but it did help me a lot. By helping others I was helping Myself.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I have a degree I never used due to health issues. Never made much money. Totally broke, will file for bankruptcy if I don't ctb. Early 40's never been in long term relationship. I wish I could go back to school but I'm just too effing tired.