Venting overcoming social anxiety

[pyx]

feel like i'm missing out on a lot of opportunities to have fun due to high social inhibitions. i've tried breaking out of my comfort zone before, but this totals to a wasted effort on my part, as nothing productive really comes of it. i can't relate to people, and have no qualities which are socially desirable. i'm afraid that the friends that i have already -- friends by convention, mind you -- are already ahead of me, being able to grow out of their comfort zones and accrue important life experiences. this is the reason i've never had any romantic relationships, which is a fact that only gets to me when i feel acutely suicidal.

it's really not as easy as "going out and talking to people," or "just be yourself." sympathy is but the cheapest form of appraisal. i truly wonder if it is my personality, of which, for my most part, i am void of. i haven't really formed a relationship to the point where i can extol my own passions, since this will inevitably deter those who are uninterested. developing more commonplace hobbies, even if practical, is something i really would like to avoid doing.

highschool has already passed, and consequently a great deal of my youth is slipping by. it wasn't something i was particularly concerned with in the past, but now that i see my friends enjoying life at university, my envy has truly begun to set in. especially in dating. again, that's perhaps the most defeating point.

anyone have similar experiences? sorry if the text is a bit muddled. i can't really think at the moment

 

[EternalShore]

oh, yeah, literally same~ :((( I have no similar hobbies, and I've tried to talk to people about things they like instead of mine, but even when I do that, they don't like me~ I guess I'd have to start wasting my limited free time doing stupid stuff for a chance at gaining friends~ :/// I do the best I can to do things for others too, but it never helps either~ They just take advantage of it, but then, drop me~ :(
In regards to personality, as long as any personality you develop is socially acceptable (matching your gender, not openly malicious, etc.), you should be able to do well eventually~ :) if not, well, you get stuck like me, pretending to be someone else and still failing~ >_<
And yeah, I would imagine it's hard to relate to people who are evil, abandon you, have good lives, and generally do anything to get away fro Im you~ :(
and yup... I'm envious as heck~ The only thing I care about is getting married and having kids and yet like half my class is already engaged, married, and/or have kids, and I just wan to die sooo badly! >_<
best of luck for both of us! ^_^ glad to see I'm not the only one who tries but fails in that! :( people pretend like we don't exist, but we really do~ :((( praying for you~ :)

 

[ham and potatoes]

I don't have advice for social anxiety specifically, but I have suffered from general anxiety around other things and panic attacks for years.
My best advice is to see a psychiatrist. Xanax and an SSRI really helped me for a decade or so. Here recently, not so much, upped my SSRI dose to try to help, I guess only time will tell.

 

[thislife24]

Social anxiety has been the bane of my existence. It's robbed me out of many things in life like relationships (family, friends, romantic), job possibilities, university, and just day to day living. It's affected so many of my relationships it's insane. I also have avoidant personality disorder that is like social anxiety and steroids. It fucking sucks man.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Maybe it would help if you thought you didn't have to do it perfectly? There are many things we would like to do in life, but instead, we might stay in the "comfort zone" in life, in despair that we would fail. There is a saying that the pursuit of perfection only brings out our worst traits. Also some risks are worth taking for the sake of them: "if you succeed, you win, and if you fail you will win also".

 

[rebelnow111]

feel like i'm missing out on a lot of opportunities to have fun due to high social inhibitions. i've tried breaking out of my comfort zone before, but this totals to a wasted effort on my part, as nothing productive really comes of it. i can't relate to people, and have no qualities which are socially desirable. i'm afraid that the friends that i have already -- friends by convention, mind you -- are already ahead of me, being able to grow out of their comfort zones and accrue important life experiences. this is the reason i've never had any romantic relationships, which is a fact that only gets to me when i feel acutely suicidal.

it's really not as easy as "going out and talking to people," or "just be yourself." sympathy is but the cheapest form of appraisal. i truly wonder if it is my personality, of which, for my most part, i am void of. i haven't really formed a relationship to the point where i can extol my own passions, since this will inevitably deter those who are uninterested. developing more commonplace hobbies, even if practical, is something i really would like to avoid doing.

highschool has already passed, and consequently a great deal of my youth is slipping by. it wasn't something i was particularly concerned with in the past, but now that i see my friends enjoying life at university, my envy has truly begun to set in. especially in dating. again, that's perhaps the most defeating point.

anyone have similar experiences? sorry if the text is a bit muddled. i can't really think at the moment

same i have severe social anxiety

 

[FlufflesAway]

For some of us there's just something... severely wrong. I wouldn't even call it social anxiety for me anymore. I don't think I shake/sweat around people anymore. It's just like those social instincts aren't there. The 'curiosity' about other people doesn't exist. They just make your body uncomfortable and you want to get away from them.

I've only felt comfortable around another person once, and I thought wow this is kind of nice. This is fun. But I was high on weed, and that's not a consistent effect.

Depending on the cause, no amount of 'practice' 'putting yourself out there' helps. I'm pretty sure my brain is just fucked up. Alcohol seems to help a lot of people. Maybe try that (in moderation).

I want to try benzos but I know I'd abuse the hell out of them.

 

[WithTheFlow]

I empathize with you.

I'm almost 23 and I've been conscious of this affliction since I first learned about it in health class in sophomore year of high school. Nothing has improved since then; things have only gotten worse as a result of bad decisions. I can't fathom how it would be to have normal interpersonal relationships. Even with my family, I'm deeply closed off and insecure.

To make matters worse, people notice quickly that I'm not well-adjusted. This completely shifts their approach of dealing with me. They don't treat me as an equal; they always try to be extra careful. It's quite insurmountable for me to break out of that social dynamic. I'm perpetually ashamed of myself.

Self-induced ostracism.