stepped on the scale. 108 and smth kg. i've been overeating a lot lately to give myself a little bit of happiness. i used to purge too but the feeling of an empty gut sucks and it wastes money. i feel bad and unattractive and a fat fuck. before my weight didnt up so much when i was cutting bc i had a distraction but now thats out of the question i guess. i dont want to be fat and unattractive and to feel better about it i end up just fetishising my weight gain into something attractive. is it worse to relapse and start cutting myself or to give myself a weight gain fetish so even if im gross at least im happy and didnt relapse. sorry just feel kind of weird lately :((
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EvisceratedJester
|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
- Oct 21, 2023
- 3,843
How about neither? Being fat doesn't make you unattractive and you shouldn't have to fetishize your weight gain to feel good about yourself. Being fat just means that you are fat. It's, in of itself, a neutral descriptor. Most negative connotations associated with it are, in part, due to social factors. You shouldn't let the weight gain get to you and cause you to cut. Relapsing has the potential to put you back into a even worse situation. I think it would be better to try and get to the root cause of why you are overeating in the first place and look into better coping mechanisms.
thats true.. thank you.. ill see what i can do. ive been more stressed lately and my bpd moodswings have become more frequent sinze i got a job. quitting is not an option but checking out my medication or dosage might be something i can try.. ill see who i can talk with about that
endlessmelancholy
Member
- Jun 12, 2024
- 37
I was 138 kgs once. Main cause was antidepressants. Managed to cut my weight down to 94 kgs. You just have to eat healthier food.
I used to struggle with binge eating. I'm still not great with food. It's so easy to fall back into that habit. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
