Pain

[idontknow42]

Behind a lot of other reasons, there is one big reason dragging me to want to CTB.

It's the fact I'm secretly gay lol. Find that hard to even admit behind an anonymous account, but whatever.

I meet new people that are like me rarely, but when I do, I always catch feelings and like always they're always straight lol. Really nothing I can do, it's so unfair. I will never force myself to desperate means such as Grindr where I feel people force relationships and stuff, I just find it weird. I believe the way to find true love is spontaneously, and really will it ever happen to me? It doesn't help that we're all out here hiding too lol.

I will have 0 shame at all to admit to anyone that I'm gay if I fall in love with someone who is also.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I would give you some advice or something, but it's impossible from a person who has no experiences with relationships.

I just hope you can find true love and then you will tell me how it feels like.

 

[Last chance]

Behind a lot of other reasons, there is one big reason dragging me to want to CTB.

It's the fact I'm secretly gay lol. Find that hard to even admit behind an anonymous account, but whatever.

I meet new people that are like me rarely, but when I do, I always catch feelings and like always they're always straight lol. Really nothing I can do, it's so unfair. I will never force myself to desperate means such as Grindr where I feel people force relationships and stuff, I just find it weird. I believe the way to find true love is spontaneously, and really will it ever happen to me? It doesn't help that we're all out here hiding too lol.

I will have 0 shame at all to admit to anyone that I'm gay if I fall in love with someone who is also.

Do you live in a culture that would make it dangerous for you to come out as gay? I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to keep something like that secret.

 

[LivingANDDying26]

Yeahh I can relate. Coming to accept and embrace my queerness/gaymess has been a struggle.

I find apps a bit forced as well but the problem being how the world is in lockdown. I would say Grinder is shit but there is a lot of apps popping up with people looking for actual love and genuine connections?

I think just saying it here can be a start. Finding spaces that are for people in the closet may be helpful.

As I am not currently I do not have much lived experience but I can imagine there are a lot of other forums and probs a subreddit for people on the closet.

Maybe even making a reddit post on a throwaway account would receive a lot of responses and advice. Just some of my ideas.

I hope you can continue to be more comfortable with being gay. Like just know it isnt wrong and theres a lot of other people going through the same struggle and there's community here and so much out there so, I hope you find it.

 

[whywere]

Hi! I am 65 years young and when my "parents" found out that I was bi, they kicked me out and never spoke to me again, their choice. That was in 1974, yep I am old!, With that said, you are a very thoughtful, kind and loving person. Your post says that when I read it. I am no smarter than anyone, probably dumber, BUT I do have life experience. I have found out through the years and decades that I could care less what people think of me. I am 100% honest, nice and try to treat everyone the way that I would want to be treated. Alot of people know that I am bi and for the most everyone is real nice to me. NOW the few that are narrow minded, greedy, and self centered, I go right past them and let them stew in their own juices. You will find the love of your life as life is too short to not ever have had the spark of love fill ones self with joy. Always be yourself, head kept high, keep the loving thoughts and spirit and venture out. Back over 45 years ago I spread my wings and never looked back or listen to negative jerks and I know YOU WILL BE AWESOME!!!! Walter (yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony)

 

[Last chance]

You're the best Walter.

 

[Moose.000]

I'm not gay but I can imagine your thoughts and mental obstacles. I think you're definitely on the right track as far as meeting someone spontaneously. "Hook up" sites have alot of negative history as far as people being used for sex, stalking and even physical attacks and murders. Stay on your path. Let the universal energies do the rest.

 

[whywere]

You're the best Walter.

THANK YOU so much @Last chance for the really nice thoughts!! You are truly a great global family member. I thought that your comment was spot on and you are so smart and have a great outlook on life. I send you lots of hugs and love as you are so loving , kind and supportive!! Walter