Help Partial or tourniquet help/questions

[Ruinedmylif]

One if these will be my method and probably soon. As much as I should hate my wife....I can't and I hate the thought of her finding me in a grotesque way. I just want to look at her picture and drift off

I've read through some forums but how awful will it be for her.

I hate this I hate this so much. I wish I didn't mess up so bad. I wish I put them first. What have I done