purplemoon
I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
- Sep 22, 2019
- 394
Hi, I'm still suicidal in my mind's background (& certainly instantly if/when horrible things happen) but after only being on here about a week, I'm actually really surprised as to my feelings of Slightly more resilience and DEFINITELY feeling less alone. Ironically this site has made me feel LESS SUICIDAL!! Wow!!! I don't feel judged or criticized, I feel more supported in the sense that my pain and my feelings of desperation have been validated and I don't feel surrounded by people that have perfect or really good lives that would act like i'm 'weird' and thus feel rejected.
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.
When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.
What about you all? What do you think?
People here have helped me by being themselves, sharing their feelings and experiences, and being kind and caring. If my own family (most of which I have either disowned because they were physically or emotionally abusive) was even halfway as supportive, or if the others had not abandoned me, I don't know that i would be so suicidal. Maybe, but not necessarily. I've been to shrinks (PhD, MA, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, DV specialists, PTSD so-called specialists) and None of them have helped me on iota. All i get is medicated into oblivion (not much help as a zombie) or they say to use a journal (seriously?!) and tried a bunch of techniques that do absolutely nothing for me. zero help.
When people (anyone, not just on here) do the Rare event of actually caring without requiring money and/or they are compassionate and KIND... I don't feel as desperate and I don't hate this planet and species as much. It's like a small glimmer of hope in the darkness.
What about you all? What do you think?