D
deathproof17
Member
- Oct 26, 2024
- 66
Probably close to 200 at this point but I stopped counting and lost track after 100. Got in the habit of seeing them as a coping mechanism to deal with loneliness, anxiety and stress. It was fun at first because I could pretend I was some alpha male fucking all these super hot women. It was a real confidence booster. But them it hit me... They only care about my money. Not me. It's obvious in hindsight but I was so delusional. Now more often than not I just feel empty, sad and even more lonely after a session. I barely even care about sex at this point.
I crave companionship and someone who genuinely likes me and desires my company. I find my self jealous seeing other men who get wives, GFs and hookups the normal way. God did not give me the looks, personality or charm and it is impossible for me to develop them no matter how hard I try. Makes me feel bad. At the end of the day I'm just some pathetic loser who can't make women like him the natural way and has to pay them. It's beyond sad and pathetic. I don't know If I have it in me to admit to my prostitute spree in my suicide note. Note: most of them weren't bad people. They are just providing a service that's in demand and doing what they need to do to survive. I don't fault any of them for that.
I crave companionship and someone who genuinely likes me and desires my company. I find my self jealous seeing other men who get wives, GFs and hookups the normal way. God did not give me the looks, personality or charm and it is impossible for me to develop them no matter how hard I try. Makes me feel bad. At the end of the day I'm just some pathetic loser who can't make women like him the natural way and has to pay them. It's beyond sad and pathetic. I don't know If I have it in me to admit to my prostitute spree in my suicide note. Note: most of them weren't bad people. They are just providing a service that's in demand and doing what they need to do to survive. I don't fault any of them for that.