dazednconfused
could i be an angel?
- Oct 8, 2024
- 94
any suggestions r appreciated. mostly following stat protocol. this is considering everything goes right and i get my package by the 16th as said, and my anti emetics as well,
i wont be leaving a note.
i really hope i follow through. im sure if i dont that day, another day will come. my impulses will save me from this life at some point.
i have rid of most of my online presence. deleted most everything i had. so...
- Wednesday, Oct 16th: fast all day, just drink water (if i even drink or eat anything at all) maybe a light snack in the morning but that should be it. i skip meals already so this should be fine.
- Thursday, Oct 17th: i'll be home alone all day, this is hoping that my mother goes out for work. if she stays home i will have to pick another day.
- 9AM: wait for my siblings to all be gone for school. ill have the SN and weighing thing and jolly ranchers and the measuring cups under my bed.
- 9:30AM: take 4x10mg of meto. (do you guys think more helps? the PPH suggests 3x10mg but just to be safe i added 1 more dose..)
- wait 40 minutes - as waiting, mix 25g of SN into 50 ml of plain water.
split the xanax in half (1.5mg and measure it, ill put 0.5mg)
put it in a third cup to drink after i get down SN.
make a second cup as well.
i will set these on the desk beside my bed.
as well as place a trash bag inside a laundry basket beside me to throw up in, ill try not to make a mess. - my favorite asmr channel agreed to make a custom video for me... ill put it on around 10:00.
- 10:10AM: drink the SN mixture, then drink the xanax mixture. take a jolly rancher to put in my mouth for relieving the taste.
lay back. - 10:30AM: at this point im probably starting to throw up. im going to lay on my side so i dont gurgle and choke on my vomit.
- 10:35AM: drink the second mixture after throwing up, or even if i don't. drink it anyways. no room for failure.
- 10:45AM: hopefully i am asleep by now and i will die soon.
- 11:30AM: ctb
i wont be leaving a note.
i really hope i follow through. im sure if i dont that day, another day will come. my impulses will save me from this life at some point.
i have rid of most of my online presence. deleted most everything i had. so...
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