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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
Part of me really wants to go through life and trying to accomplish what I want and get the things I want, but I still want to have something planned out. Is that dumb? Am I planning to fail or is it just a precaution?

I think I'd want to use carbon monoxide. I wanted to start looking into tents and charcoals I could buy and keep in my car, along with having a really big seal plush I could lay down next to as I pass to the next life. I feel like that'd be suspicious for my gf tho. Also not sure if it's the best method but I figure this way it's more likely to look like an accident. But then putting up warning signs or anything would be red flags. And I wouldn't be able to have a note or anything if I want it to look like an accident.

It feels like there's a lot to plan for a "just in case" but it also feels like I need to have this plan because shit gets so horrible at points and the "highs" are just kinda normal. It makes me feel better to have a plan, and I want to have more stuff planned out.

If anyone knows more stuff about carbon monoxide, or maybe sources or people's reports on their attempts I'd appreciate it. Also if it's weird that I'm planning for this if things aren't always horrible agony and just low grade dog shit, I'd like to hear people's thoughts.
 
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waningmoth

waningmoth

Member
Aug 29, 2023
59
Im the same. I need a get out card to be able to live.
Having something on standby gives me the strength to keep going because i know if it gets too much i have a way out. Ican end it anytime
 
R

RiverOfLife

Member
Nov 7, 2024
78
Im the same. I need a get out card to be able to live.
Having something on standby gives me the strength to keep going because i know if it gets too much i have a way out. Ican end it anytime
Exactly. Hardship is more bearable if you know there is an end.
 
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toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
Im the same. I need a get out card to be able to live.
Having something on standby gives me the strength to keep going because i know if it gets too much i have a way out. Ican end it anytime
I'm glad I'm not just being weird or hypocritical or anything. One of my big things is that I get so overwhelmed easily so I think the idea of a plan makes me feel more in control and lets me know that if things are so overwhelming one day, I have a solution
 
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