Help Please i need someone to talk to and help me with find a suitable method

[janedoe2620]

It's been 2 years since my last post it still haven't gotten better,but now I'm stuck in a college major that I despise and genuinely can't bear anymore its my second year in a 4 year degree that my parents pressured into ,it too late to turn back now I wannaeave the country but i don't esnt to be alone in unfamiliar place
I'm too anxious to do anything I feel so ulsess and My religious doubt gotten worse,I feel like crying I have no one to talk to

I hate that there is no way for resurance
There is no way to prove or disprove religion, there is nothing i hate more that uncertainty

I tried partial hanging in my closet with a jump rope that I put cream on to make it slippery but only my lips felt numb

I wanted to try the carbon monoxide method but I don't know how to go about it with my father setting at the front door all day and I dont have a driving licence

I feel so trapped like my entire chest is slowly going to explode
Any methods I can try?

 

[Dingo67]

You don't have to go to college. Especially if you're going because you were pressured into it. Maybe dropping out and trying something else would give you a sense of control. CO method is kind of hard (and super risky) to pull off, espeically so if you live with others, shouldn't be attempted if that's the case in my opinion. Maybe the mega threads could help with ideas. Lots of info there. I'm here if you just want to talk or vent as well

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling trapped in this existence, it just feels so cruel to me how it's so difficult to permanently cease existing, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[janedoe2620]

Thank you hope you also reach a goal that makes you happy, it really is exhausting especially when you don't have someone to talk to,I keep telling my parents about those thoughts and how I feel trapped but my mom tell me to read religious text but I'm having a religious crisis so Idk anyone

You don't have to go to college. Especially if you're going because you were pressured into it. Maybe dropping out and trying something else would give you a sense of control. CO method is kind of hard (and super risky) to pull off, espeically so if you live with others, shouldn't be attempted if that's the case in my opinion. Maybe the mega threads could help with ideas. Lots of info there. I'm here if you just want to talk or vent as well

Thank for the kind, yes that why idk if i should use i dont want to hurt my family
but I have to go in college and money has already been spent on this degree i cant back out now and i dont know what i want in life, all of my cousins got into a good college both of my parents have college degrees and my mom keep telling me that I'm ruining her reputation by having a daughter not good at anything.

I know its stupid but I feel paralysed

Thank you again I hope you reach your goal whatever it is !

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I would try my best to help but unfortunately we live in a pro suffering society where even assisting somebody in suicide is a crime thus that's reflected in the rules here. All I can do is link you to the suicide resource thread and hope you get what you want in life. Hopefully you find peace soon regardless of what you do

Suicide Resource Compilation

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sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[janedoe2620]

Thank you i hope you also reach your goal

 

[maniac116]

Thank you hope you also reach a goal that makes you happy, it really is exhausting especially when you don't have someone to talk to,I keep telling my parents about those thoughts and how I feel trapped but my mom tell me to read religious text but I'm having a religious crisis so Idk anyone

Thank for the kind, yes thst why idk if i should use i font want to hurt my family
but I have to go in college and money has already been spent on this degree i cant back out now and i dobt know what i want in life, all of my cousins got into a good college both of my parents have college degrees and my mom keep telling me that I'm ruining her reputation by having a daughter not good at anything.

I know its stupid but I feel paralysed

Thank you again I hope you reach your goal whatever it is.

Won't it hurt your family if you ctb?

 

[zulcywulcy]

It's been 2 years since my last post it still haven't gotten better,but now I'm stuck in a college major that I despise and genuinely can't bear anymore its my second year in a 4 year degree that my parents pressured into ,it too late to turn back now I wannaeave the country but i don't esnt to be alone in unfamiliar place
I'm too anxious to do anything I feel so ulsess and My religious doubt gotten worse,I feel like crying I have no one to talk to

I hate that there is no way for resurance
There is no way to prove or disprove religion, there is nothing i hate more that uncertainty

I tried partial hanging in my closet with a jump rope that I put cream on to make it slippery but only my lips felt numb

I wanted to try the carbon monoxide method but I don't know how to go about it with my father setting at the front door all day and I dont have a driving licence

I feel so trapped like my entire chest is slowly going to explode
Any methods I can try?

You could always try drowning if you don't mind pain, I'm doing that way since it's super accessible and barely requires any effort

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Sorry that you feel there is no way out of the current situation, may you find the best thing to do for you and nobody else.

 

[janedoe2620]

You could always try drowning if you don't mind pain, I'm doing that way since it's super accessible and barely requires any effort

Really I never thought about it ? it seems harder to do than other methods

Won't it hurt your family if you ctb?

I think or hope so but that is a normal reaction I believe it would be happier for them in the long run I'm only dragging them down
Rh

Sorry that you feel there is no way out of the current situation, may you find the best thing to do for you and nobody else.

Thank you I hope that you also achieve what you want

 

[onelastcall]

It's been 2 years since my last post it still haven't gotten better,but now I'm stuck in a college major that I despise and genuinely can't bear anymore its my second year in a 4 year degree that my parents pressured into ,it too late to turn back now I wannaeave the country but i don't esnt to be alone in unfamiliar place
I'm too anxious to do anything I feel so ulsess and My religious doubt gotten worse,I feel like crying I have no one to talk to

I hate that there is no way for resurance
There is no way to prove or disprove religion, there is nothing i hate more that uncertainty

I tried partial hanging in my closet with a jump rope that I put cream on to make it slippery but only my lips felt numb

I wanted to try the carbon monoxide method but I don't know how to go about it with my father setting at the front door all day and I dont have a driving licence

I feel so trapped like my entire chest is slowly going to explode
Any methods I can try?

I'm not sure where you are from but is there any way you can see a therapist?
You might feel overwhelmed right now but some medications can help relieve some of the stress. I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

 

[Dingo67]

Thank you hope you also reach a goal that makes you happy, it really is exhausting especially when you don't have someone to talk to,I keep telling my parents about those thoughts and how I feel trapped but my mom tell me to read religious text but I'm having a religious crisis so Idk anyone

Thank for the kind, yes that why idk if i should use i dont want to hurt my family
but I have to go in college and money has already been spent on this degree i cant back out now and i dont know what i want in life, all of my cousins got into a good college both of my parents have college degrees and my mom keep telling me that I'm ruining her reputation by having a daughter not good at anything.

I know its stupid but I feel paralysed

Thank you again I hope you reach your goal whatever it is !

Thank you hope you also reach a goal that makes you happy, it really is exhausting especially when you don't have someone to talk to,I keep telling my parents about those thoughts and how I feel trapped but my mom tell me to read religious text but I'm having a religious crisis so Idk anyone

Thank for the kind, yes that why idk if i should use i dont want to hurt my family
but I have to go in college and money has already been spent on this degree i cant back out now and i dont know what i want in life, all of my cousins got into a good college both of my parents have college degrees and my mom keep telling me that I'm ruining her reputation by having a daughter not good at anything.

I know its stupid but I feel paralysed

Thank you again I hope you reach your goal whatever it is !

Thank you hope you also reach a goal that makes you happy, it really is exhausting especially when you don't have someone to talk to,I keep telling my parents about those thoughts and how I feel trapped but my mom tell me to read religious text but I'm having a religious crisis so Idk anyone

Thank for the kind, yes that why idk if i should use i dont want to hurt my family
but I have to go in college and money has already been spent on this degree i cant back out now and i dont know what i want in life, all of my cousins got into a good college both of my parents have college degrees and my mom keep telling me that I'm ruining her reputation by having a daughter not good at anything.

I know its stupid but I feel paralysed

Thank you again I hope you reach your goal whatever it is !

You're mom is wrong to say that. Her "reputation" isn't your responsability. As for any religious troubles, I like to tell myself that God is all loving because I think God is when i'm struggling. Maybe that could help? Also, it's important to remember that different things work for different people, so even if religious texts help your mom, they might not help you.