C
Circles
Visionary
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,297
What is there to be positive about?
Here's my list so far and I'm gonna nitpick at them:
-Seeing my dog every day and give her belly rubs.
(depressing part is that this won't last long and when she dies the loss will be too much I'll probably never have another pet again.)
-Smoking weed or any other substance to block the thoughts.
(depressing part is that it's just another distraction to move on from the same problem that keeps repeating.)
-Being with my family
(depressing part is that they work a lot and it's only getting worse as I get older. I love seeing my mom but she smokes a pack a day and is getting older and either Alzheimer's or respiratory problems is going to creep up one day and I'll lose her. As for my siblings, welp like all things people just drift apart sooner or later and so the loneliness will probably get worse.
-Go outside more and interacting with nature and such.
(depressing part(s) is that there's so many things I can think about like habitat destruction or how the land is owned or even how natural beauty is commercialized and I'll never have something like that, or how deadly nature can be and how much competition there is just to survive in the animal world while all these animals are trapped in their imprisoned bodies waiting to be consumed by nature or other living things.
-Whether good or bad I'm going to die regardless and my problems will finally end one day.
(depressing part is that it'll be like I never existed at all and I'll forget all this so wtf was the point?)
I feel pathetic I can't come up with more just fucking wow. This feels impossible, the negativity just can't be ignored. Is 'life whatever I make of it' and should I try to 'just live in the moment' cause those only feels like more platitudes.
Here's my list so far and I'm gonna nitpick at them:
-Seeing my dog every day and give her belly rubs.
(depressing part is that this won't last long and when she dies the loss will be too much I'll probably never have another pet again.)
-Smoking weed or any other substance to block the thoughts.
(depressing part is that it's just another distraction to move on from the same problem that keeps repeating.)
-Being with my family
(depressing part is that they work a lot and it's only getting worse as I get older. I love seeing my mom but she smokes a pack a day and is getting older and either Alzheimer's or respiratory problems is going to creep up one day and I'll lose her. As for my siblings, welp like all things people just drift apart sooner or later and so the loneliness will probably get worse.
-Go outside more and interacting with nature and such.
(depressing part(s) is that there's so many things I can think about like habitat destruction or how the land is owned or even how natural beauty is commercialized and I'll never have something like that, or how deadly nature can be and how much competition there is just to survive in the animal world while all these animals are trapped in their imprisoned bodies waiting to be consumed by nature or other living things.
-Whether good or bad I'm going to die regardless and my problems will finally end one day.
(depressing part is that it'll be like I never existed at all and I'll forget all this so wtf was the point?)
I feel pathetic I can't come up with more just fucking wow. This feels impossible, the negativity just can't be ignored. Is 'life whatever I make of it' and should I try to 'just live in the moment' cause those only feels like more platitudes.
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