Praying God will take your life

[Manfrotto99]

Please just ignore this if you don't pray or in some way believe in God. I don't mean to offend anyone with this post. I am genuinely interested in sharing thoughts and hearing if anyone else on here prays to God for mercy to end their suffering and pain and take their life before they do?

I know praying for death seams wrong but I would rather God take my life than me do it. Or am I just looking for an easy way out? I mean, I just can't take it anymore but I fear death as much as life and am in a perpetual limbo of nothingness just waiting for the trigger that will overcome my SI, knowing surely it will come sooner rather than later given circumstances beyond my control that keep me trapped in ceaseless suffering and pain. I pray God will take my life rather than be driven into temptation and take it myself. I am likely to stuff up anyway given how I've always failed at everything.

All my other prayers over the years have gone unanswered but maybe I've just stuffed up so badly along the way. Now all hope is gone. Praying for death might be a cop out, but I think of how meaningless my life is, how I have no family who cares, how much I miss my dog every day, how I try but always make wrong decisions and end up hurting others and myself and how others would actually benefit from my death. Then there is the environmental footprint, resources, food and animals (wish I was strong enough to be a vegan) that would not be wasted on such a meaningless existence while others go hungry. It seems selfish to stay here.

 

[eternallyluna]

You are not alone. I also pray to God to end my suffering. I pray for God to take my life and give it to someone who deserves it, someone who wants to live.

I don't believe you're looking for an easy way out or anything of the sort. In fact I think it's rather brave of you to voice your deepest feelings not only to God, but also to this forum.

For me, I see praying for death as a manifestation of how deep my pain is. I'm so desperate for my suffering to end that I'm begging on my knees.

 

[squidsponge]

I am also in that same limbo you're in. An awful place to be.
I don't speak for Him but judging from those of us depressed believers who are still here, God will not answer that death prayer.
Wouldn't it be nice if He actually did though? If all we had to do was send a prayer asking to leave.

 

[Manfrotto99]

You are not alone. I also pray to God to end my suffering. I pray for God to take my life and give it to someone who deserves it, someone who wants to live.

I don't believe you're looking for an easy way out or anything of the sort. In fact I think it's rather brave of you to voice your deepest feelings not only to God, but also to this forum.

For me, I see praying for death as a manifestation of how deep my pain is. I'm so desperate for my suffering to end that I'm begging on my knees.

Thank you for sharing you thoughts and prayers. It is comforting to know that I am not alone.

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya I use to do that no luck

 

[Manfrotto99]

I am also in that same limbo you're in. An awful place to be.
I don't speak for Him but judging from those of us depressed believers who are still here, God will not answer that death prayer.
Wouldn't it be nice if He actually did though? If all we had to do was send a prayer asking to leave.

While my elderly father was in hospital with sepsis and in much pain he ceaselessly prayed God would take his life. But he recovered and everyone said God did a miracle. At one point he was only given a couple of days. So our prayers are not always answered. Then again he had many people and churches praying he would live. Sometimes God has other plans, but then we are ment to pray for mercy and are "not be lead into temptation". God is after all the giver and taker of life.

 

[squidsponge]

While my elderly father was in hospital with sepsis and in much pain he ceaselessly prayed God would take his life. But he recovered and everyone said God did a miracle. At one point he was only given a couple of days. So our prayers are not always answered. Then again he had many people and churches praying he would live. Sometimes God has other plans, but then we are ment to pray for mercy and are "not be lead into temptation". God is after all the giver and taker of life.

It's funny you mention that the bit about father praying for one thing and getting another. I can say I've seen many instances of the opposite things happening for example we prayed a lot for my mother to be healed from cancer she died, I remember praying in gratitude for an internship I got I lost it soon after. Maybe the key is to pray for the opposite. Maybe if you say how you're happy to live and be alive maybe then do you die.

 

[nomoredolor]

I don't even believe in god anymore but that hasn't stopped me from keeping begging them, or anyone who will listen to my prayers, to end my life so I don't have to. I did it before both of my attempts. Always in earnest. Next time with SN will hopefully be successful. The last few weeks I've begged everyday. I know that my death will hurt my family but it will hurt them less if it's not suicide. Is my only reason.
Hugs
Anna

 

[KillingPain267]

Then there is the environmental footprint, resources, food and animals (wish I was strong enough to be a vegan) that would not be wasted on such a meaningless existence while others go hungry. It seems selfish to stay here.

Exactly I feel the same. I don't and/or cannot contribute to society and loving my neighbour so I might as well make room for other people to use ressources rather than just feed my pointless existence.

I know praying for death seams wrong but I would rather God take my life than me do it.

Well, Moses, Job, Jonah and I think Elijah prayed for God to kill them, so it's not wrong, although God didn't answer those prayers but helped them in other ways. But He didn't punish them either for having such thoughts.

 

[DoneWithThisLife]

I will be honest, I don't believe in god at all - but - When my mum was in hospital she asked us all to pray for her to pass, I refused to join in. When the others had left and we were alone, I prayed silently to myself and I did ask God to take her because I didn't want her to suffer any more. After months of pain & suffering and 'out of it' on morphine she passed peacefully the next day and I smiled upwards and said "thank You". Of course I was upset my mum was gone. I will probably have a silent prayer to myself on my CTB day just to help it all go to plan.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I'm reminded of the story of Job, who was a good and prosperous family man. God decided to allow satan to test Job's faith in God one day. Satan takes away his wealth, family, and physical health. He had painful boils covering his entire body. At one point Job is so despondent he pleads for God to take his life, but to no avail.

In the end Job passes all the tests, and everything he lost is restored in even better condition than before. The whole point of Job's suffering was just to demonstrate to satan that he was a truly upstanding guy who would always remain faithful to God no matter how hard he was tested.

I think it's exceedingly unlikely the same God who was so cruel to Job would take someone's life because they prayed for it to eliminate their suffering, but nobody can get in God's mind either so it's not impossible that He would. I pray for death even though I don't believe in God because why not, it's just a natural thing to wish for when you're in a suicidal state of mind.

 

[J&L383]

Maybe if you say how you're happy to live and be alive maybe then do you die.

"You can't always get what you want
. . " but if you pretend you want something else, you'll get what you want?

 

[CogitoMori]

I pray to the death god of my spirituality to take me away. He hasn't yet for some reason. It seems like you only get to be taken away early if you're a good person that enjoys life. It's not fair to them that want to live or to those of us that don't.

 

[divinemistress36]

I pray to the death god of my spirituality to take me away. He hasn't yet for some reason. It seems like you only get to be taken away early if you're a good person that enjoys life. It's not fair to them that want to live or to those of us that don't.

Ive noticed that to. People who loved life and good get to die early

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Maybe the key is to pray for the opposite. Maybe if you say how you're happy to live and be alive maybe then do you die....

That's the B'rer Rabbit "Please don't throw me in the briar patch!" technique.



But seriously, yeah, me too.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I pray, I scream, I beg to the imaginary to take my life...hoping I'm wrong and some merciful being is listening and will grant my request.

 

[squidsponge]

"You can't always get what you want
. . " but if you pretend you want something else, you'll get what you want?

Maybe someone here can try for a season and tell us if we should add this to the list of reliable methods to ctb

 

[Manfrotto99]

Exactly I feel the same. I don't and/or cannot contribute to society and loving my neighbour so I might as well make room for other people to use ressources rather than just feed my pointless existence.

Well, Moses, Job, Jonah and I think Elijah prayed for God to kill them, so it's not wrong, although God didn't answer those prayers but helped them in other ways. But He didn't punish them either for having such thoughts.

This is true. God had a plan for all of them though. Perhaps if he dosnt have a plan or you cannot fullfil it, He won't allow you to keep pointlessly suffering while using up valuable resources.

 

[ladidabi]

As somebody who grew up religious, I 100% know what you're talking about.
Don't worry about offending in any way, but people should be more aware how even with religion being a type of comfort for people, some suffer so much that it's not enough. They suffer so much, they are begging for God to take them, even though that is a sin.

I was a muslim until my late tweens growing up in shit conditions. I remember being on my way home from school and praying outside the block that my parents aren't home. Sometimes they were, and I was met with violence. Sometimes I would accidentally spill something, close the door on accident a bit hard, be sad, or whatever inconvenience I may have caused for them, and I would have to go through it again... and again... and again. At times they were so violent they would call school next day saying I'm sick, just because how much visible damage was on my face and body.

I would pray for God to take me away, even if painful. Both before, during and after every painful, miserable event in my life. I am no longer religious today. Though I do notice during my lowest, desperate times, I would whisper or in my head, beg for whatever, or whoever is watching me, to end my suffering. The most painful part about that after all these years, I have not had my wish come true. I did not lose my life by other means, or have enough strength to go through with it, and those times I was close, I was caught, shamed, and chased away.

 

[uselessflesh]

yes, i cry and pray every day for him to let me go, but sometimes i feel as if living in this hell is somewhat of a punishment and that i do not deserve the peace of death

 

[lifeisbutadream]

yes, i cry and pray every day for him to let me go, but sometimes i feel as if living in this hell is somewhat of a punishment and that i do not deserve the peace of death

I think It's more like a test that we're undergoing here on Earth, and the best of us are being tested the hardest.

 

[SafferGuy]

Not even swearing at god in the middle of a lightning storm worked for me.

 

[Peace2peace]

Have been praying to sleep and not wake up guess I have to push the button my self

 

[CogitoMori]

yes, i cry and pray every day for him to let me go, but sometimes i feel as if living in this hell is somewhat of a punishment and that i do not deserve the peace of death

I think I'm here for punishment too. I was given temporary happiness just to make me suffer more when it was taken from me.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think It's more like a test that we're undergoing here on Earth, and the best of us are being tested the hardest.

Some say older souls go through harder challenges . We are here to learn. Thats the rumor