I have a neurological illness which causes me so much suffering and I really want to die. But unfortunately this illness also causes severe mental fatigue which makes it REALLY difficult for me to research and plan suicide method. I have identified tourniquet type method as being the best one for me, however I still need to look at the risks properly and work out how to minimise the risks of failure, make sure I know how to do it properly etc. But I just don't have the mental energy or ability to do so. My brain just can't focus on it. So I'm so scared that I will do it wrong and end up brain damaged and therefore suffering even more than I was before. Or end up forced into a psych hospital where they won't understand my neurological illness and will make me suffer more. Argh.
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IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
I'd suggest Nembutal If you can afford it
2nd. Amitriplyine cocktail
3rd. Sodium nitrite
All of these are easier to perform imo, you just order the stuff and take it.
2nd. Amitriplyine cocktail
3rd. Sodium nitrite
All of these are easier to perform imo, you just order the stuff and take it.
dolphin
aquatic thing
- Feb 7, 2019
- 213
I have the same problem. I would also suggest Nembutal. It is a bit of effort to email the guy and transfer money via bitcoin, but once you actually have the stuff it is very straightforward and there should be no risk of you failing/ending up with brain damage.
I have cognitive damage and so far I have managed okay with the above steps. I understand why it is difficult though.
I have cognitive damage and so far I have managed okay with the above steps. I understand why it is difficult though.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
I should have mentioned - I live with my parents, who are my carers (I'm an adult, but cannot live independently due to my illness). I just can't see how I could get hold of Nembutal or SN or anything like that, without my parents finding out. I am so disabled that I can't leave the house by myself.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
intheweeds
Student
- Mar 20, 2019
- 182
Would it be possible to talk to your parents about it? I mean if you're truly suffering and there's not much chance for improvement they should try and understand.
Or alternatively if you have a friend or someone you trust that could receive packages and give them to you that could be a option.
dolphin
aquatic thing
- Feb 7, 2019
- 213
You could order the package and then say it's something else. Tell them that you are expecting something in advance so they don't think it's weird.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
A package from Mexico doesn't look good(N) and a package from India(amitriplyine) doesn't either
dolphin
aquatic thing
- Feb 7, 2019
- 213
I know, it just sounds like that is the best option considering there is no chance they will be able to pick it up. Unless you can convince a friend to allow you to kill yourself and send the packages to them, which also seems unlikely.
I'd rather not share, because there's a lot of stigma around it. A lot of people don't take it seriously.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
What's the disability. Best bet is having someone send SN or amitriplyine in a package to him or her with a decoy so it gets by her parents. If she she or he has a friend irl that would work too. Basically a dropshipper
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
Could you pm it to me. I promise I won't judge or share. It'd just be easier to brainstorm for you
If a friend did that then they'd probably get prosecuted! Assisting a suicide is illegal where I live. I don't have anyone who would agree to help me kill myself, anyway.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
Well idk your situation so I can't really brainstorm any further. I do wish you the best though.
dolphin
aquatic thing
- Feb 7, 2019
- 213
You could send it to the post office, and then ask a friend to pick it up? Then you don't have to explain what it is for and your parents won't know. Just say that they ended up shipping it to the post office/no one was home or something and that your family members are busy.
You'd still need a discreet way of them giving it to you though.
You'd still need a discreet way of them giving it to you though.
