Questioning my CTB Method

[Genetic]

I've searched and considered many methods of CTB over the years and to be honest: The risk of waking up permanently damaged scares me a lot. Anything regarding asphyxiation is out of the question, I could never choose that method. I don't want to wrist-slit because I don't want to survive it and have horrid scars/fucked up muscle tendons on what is effectively the very things I use every day. I would also highly consider a method that keeps me intact and recognisable after death, the death alone would be traumatizing to the person finding me, It won't help them if I'm mangled either. As a result, I thought of the method: Severing my carotid arteries by stabbing myself in the neck.

A little while ago back in 2022 a video went around my school of a fight that broke out in the city where a man was surprised with a knife attack and got stabbed in the neck. It didn't even look brutal, it was just a quick, swift stab and it actually looked more like a punch. Any who, within seconds the person grabs their neck and collapses to the ground and seemingly dies fairly quickly. And that is where I've gained somewhat of an idea of my method.

While it's horrible to gain inspiration from such a terrible event, I personally have gained a bit of reassurance that there might be a method I can consider. I plan to mark the carotid artery on either side of my neck, get high or drunk (enough though as to not challenge my accuracy) and then use a knife to try and jab and sever the artery, and if not on both sides then just one. After all is said and done I'm hoping to bleed in the bathtub (easy cleanup) or out in the backyard on an afternoon so I can take in the weather one more time (leaning more towards this option though).

While I have been in this forum for a year, I am still new to internet interactions and my experience here pales in comparison to that of the rest of you: I'd appreciate any form of input about what I've said, be it positive or negative. Thank you

 

[Bananaman]

I can't imagine myself being strong enough to stab myself with 0 hesitation, 100% sure going for the kill. Sounds a bit too hard for me idk

 

[CantDoIt]

Can you imagine yourself being able to do this for real? I personally can't but maybe you would be able to.

 

[Bruce]

This is how they kill pigs for Christmas. If done right the subject dies in seconds. However, I doubt you will be able to do it right, especially not if you're high or drunk.

 

[Gone soon]

I wouldn't recommend that. You have to hit the right spot blind. If you miss, you may just be paralysed or less.

 

[segasonicexe]

i personally wouldn't do it, there's certainly less bloody methods and if you miss, there's a chance you'll hit your spinal cord or something and become paralyzed

 

[Genetic]

Can you imagine yourself being able to do this for real? I personally can't but maybe you would be able to.

For me personally, I can imagine it. While my imagination would be nothing compared to the actual event, I like to think that if it is done correctly I can go out in the way I'd like to. I can't think of any other methods to consider that don't immediately hold my interest quite like this one. Thanks for the input.

i personally wouldn't do it, there's certainly less bloody methods and if you miss, there's a chance you'll hit your spinal cord or something and become paralyzed

True, I have considered that. The blood aspect I don't really care about, but having my paralysis fears reaffirmed by others is something I'll give more consideration. Thanks for the input.

This is how they kill pigs for Christmas. If done right the subject dies in seconds. However, I doubt you will be able to do it right, especially not if you're high or drunk.

Yeah, those methods are pretty effective against other animals and like I said the video I saw also pushed me in that direction. Be assured, I have highly considered that the factor of being drunk or high while performing it could severely botch my chances (and also possibly leave me paralysed if not done correctly). So it's still in the cards as to whether or not those are circumstances I want to put myself through prior to carrying it out. Thank you for your input.

I wouldn't recommend that. You have to hit the right spot blind. If you miss, you may just be paralysed or less.

Yes it's a challenge I've given plenty of thought to but I'm happy to hear it brought up by others. Looking in the mirror and using my fingers I have been able to feel them and find their positions, I then proceed to trace along either sides of my neck wherever I feel the pulse and be thorough when doing so (When I carry it out I'll be using a mirror so don't fret about it being done blind). You are right though, I am afraid of using a blade that is too long, where therein lies the risk of going past the artery and possibly striking any spinal related body parts. While this is a method I haven't completely decided on using, it's still one of my highly considered ones. Thank you for your input.

I can't imagine myself being strong enough to stab myself with 0 hesitation, 100% sure going for the kill. Sounds a bit too hard for me idk

I don't blame you, and to be quite honest, this is all planning and consideration for now. The real thing will be worlds different to discussing it and I have no doubt it will be a bit more harsh than the outcome I want from it. I've come to appreciate what my life has given me in my past, so I'm content with choosing a method where I forcefully go out on my terms. Thank you for your input.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

I plan to mark the carotid artery on either side of my neck, get high or drunk

Would getting drunk somehow ease the anxiety and the survival instinct?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't see how anyone could ever do that no matter what they took to "help" them. I know people have, but it's rare to have that kind of resolve and fortitude. That's like the ultimate level of resolve.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I don't see how anyone could ever do that no matter what they took to "help" them. I know people have, but it's rare to have that kind of resolve and fortitude. That's like the ultimate level of resolve.

Agreed and it's not just about resolve, it's about biologically built in SI, it's not a switch we can flip on or off, substances can help, but they can also greatly hinder accuracy. OP, I read what you wrote and I fully believe you have given this thought, the thing is, your body will likely force you to stop and this may leave you with permanent damage but still very much alive. Also the factor of hitting it blind is a whole other can of worms.