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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
So I've been depression free for the last 6 months, thanks to hormones instead of antidepressants or such.

And indeed anyway I'm hit with reality, now I feel fine, but I lost 20 years of preparation for life that now I'm a mediocre professional who knows or believes due to my perfomance I'll be fired one day, and i just dont know what to do, sure i can and i have decided to be more proactive and learn my job well, but it taking time and I'm not as smart as I was 20 years ago.

Hahaha , quitting or ctbing while been ahead doesn't seems like the worst choice, I dont ever want to be depressed again and if I lose my financial wellbeing I could probably feel like shit if I dont learn how to solve it , I live in Mexico and I can't go with minimum wage

Its ridiculous how much I lost to depression for 20 years.... now I've got to look at the present and forward and damm I'm hit with reality , I'm no millionaire , I'm living on a salary, damm

What the fuck do people do??

For twenty years I was thinking how yo solce solve depression, or how to kill myself, and now I'm trying to find a way out of economic incapacity , or how to grow a second income and not just only my salary.
 
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Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
First of all, I am happy to hear someone on ss say that they feel better, and manage to keep depression at bay. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you will continue down the same path.

Second of all, U2 is a great band. Cool avatar photo! Their song Vertigo is quite addictive.

And to answer your question: the logical solution that comes to mind is that you start applying for jobs, and see how that goes. If you succeed, then ... problem solved. If not, then you take it from there.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
First of all, I am happy to hear someone , tahnks!¡!

And to answer your question: the logical solution that comes to mind is that you start applying for jobs, and see how that goes. If you succeed, then ... problem solved. If not, then you take it from there.

Ive Ben writing down my thinking , thoughts and beliefs, damm scary shit!!

I'm afraid I dont know how to make a living, I'm not good at my job!!!
And besides that I know nothing else, except selling candy on the streets , damm scary about that, because I'm already used to a job and a good salary, but im afraid I won't last , scary that!!

Shitting afraid , cause even if I feel better, I am not smarter at my job
So it's even worst, seeing reality while believing I'm alone and I dont know how I'm gonnankae a living and I'll be a poor old man damm, no way to that!! No fucking way, I got to do something but nothing comes up, nothing has ever come up in the last six months, damm this is not new

Shy, regret angry and afraid am I
I've got no clue what am I going to do
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Ive Ben writing down my thinking , thoughts and beliefs, damm scary shit!!

I'm afraid I dont know how to make a living, I'm not good at my job!!!
And besides that I know nothing else, except selling candy on the streets , damm scary about that, because I'm already used to a job and a good salary, but im afraid I won't last , scary that!!

Shitting afraid , cause even if I feel better, I am not smarter at my job
So it's even worst, seeing reality while believing I'm alone and I dont know how I'm gonnankae a living and I'll be a poor old man damm, no way to that!! No fucking way, I got to do something but nothing comes up, nothing has ever come up in the last six months, damm this is not new

Shy, regret angry and afraid am I
I've got no clue what am I going to do

20 years is a long time to fight the battle, but it sounds like you've finally broken through it. Congratulations to you atleast on that aspect. It sounds like you're coming to new realizations since you've finally broken free of the fog.

Economic security is unfortunately a thing of the past. It's also extremely hard if not downright impossible to better ones socioeconomic status nowadays as well. We live in a new "gig" economy which is rapidly changing.

My advice to you would be to start saving as much as you can. I'd also further entrench and focus more heavily on improving yourself at the job you do have. There are ways to make side incomes but it sounds like you already have some stability in your current line of work.

Good luck to you and don't give up! You've come a long way to just throw in the towel now.
 
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HopeDiesLast

self-banned
Dec 28, 2019
254
Don't quit now!

You've been able to keep a salaried job while struggling with depression. That's no small feat. Just imagine what you're capable of now that you're no longer crippled by depression! Try not to dwell on the time you may have "lost", but focus on the opportunities that lay ahead.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Don't quit now!

You've been able to keep a salaried job while struggling with depression. That's no small feat. Just imagine what you're capable of now that you're no longer crippled by depression! Try not to dwell on the time you may have "lost", but focus on the opportunities that lay ahead.

Sure, I dont WANT to quit!

I just never thought it would be so uncomfortable this money earning thing...
Focusing on what lays ahead it's unclear!

I could try to get better at my job, I'm trying, it's too much LOL

Step by step but I'm not very smart so it takes times and I get discouraged

I sure have come a long way to throw the towel, it's just new discomfort I have now, not with my State, but with how difficult it seems to make a living with my current abilities...

I want to feel safe! Like knowing I can take care of myself, that I can get a job and feel safe, more than a job and a salary, I would like to know I can build something, make anything, sure a job keeps ME steady I could focus on that and then on a side income. But my priorities and interests ain't right.


So much going on even after depression and not wanting to get out of bed has stopped.

Thank you guys for replying
 
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