Lavínia
plalace
- Feb 19, 2024
- 104
- I've faked fights with my family. I saw the stress, the need to explode, and I went with the flow just to see how ridiculous it could be.
- I've thought about killing others. Many times. I've felt it was a compulsive need, either I killed someone or I killed myself. I managed to condense it to the point where I'd rather tear myself apart than curse someone, but there was that phase.
- I've poisoned a pet fish I had so I could throw it away.
- I've thought, many times, about throwing my cat away, or making her sick, or just abandoning her on the street.
- For 5 years I compulsively lied so I could be close to someone, having an obsession with the person. I joked, laughed while pretending to be empathetic, filmed without consent. I told her traumas, and the more traumas I heard, the more joy I felt in unraveling that book, an object. - I've cooked for my family using a little of my blood, throwing it in the pan so they would understand me more while they ate.
- I didn't feel anything for my father, but I stayed close to him to have more money, and to see the stupid face he made when he felt he wasn't alone.
- I got closer than ever to my family, my cousins and my aunt, making them feel connected to me, because it made me so happy to think of them suffering with my death. Not out of necessity, but their lives are so good that I would love to destroy them like that.
- Several times, I went to see homeless people to give them drinks, and drink with them. It was good to see someone worse off than me, and sinking even deeper, because of me.
- At work, I lied and said that my dog died after she was run over because I was stupid. I felt bad about what happened, but I needed a bigger reason to justify my sadness, so I pretended that she died to receive comfort from them.
- I've thought about killing others. Many times. I've felt it was a compulsive need, either I killed someone or I killed myself. I managed to condense it to the point where I'd rather tear myself apart than curse someone, but there was that phase.
- I've poisoned a pet fish I had so I could throw it away.
- I've thought, many times, about throwing my cat away, or making her sick, or just abandoning her on the street.
- For 5 years I compulsively lied so I could be close to someone, having an obsession with the person. I joked, laughed while pretending to be empathetic, filmed without consent. I told her traumas, and the more traumas I heard, the more joy I felt in unraveling that book, an object. - I've cooked for my family using a little of my blood, throwing it in the pan so they would understand me more while they ate.
- I didn't feel anything for my father, but I stayed close to him to have more money, and to see the stupid face he made when he felt he wasn't alone.
- I got closer than ever to my family, my cousins and my aunt, making them feel connected to me, because it made me so happy to think of them suffering with my death. Not out of necessity, but their lives are so good that I would love to destroy them like that.
- Several times, I went to see homeless people to give them drinks, and drink with them. It was good to see someone worse off than me, and sinking even deeper, because of me.
- At work, I lied and said that my dog died after she was run over because I was stupid. I felt bad about what happened, but I needed a bigger reason to justify my sadness, so I pretended that she died to receive comfort from them.
