Reasons to CTB

[couragetodie]

Do you find yourself needing to compile a list of reasons to CTB? Or do you just have a general disliking of life and thus want to end it? I have a long list of reasons. I read recently there are 8 primary reasons why one wants to end their life.

Cancer, money, depression, abuse as a child, divorce, etc.

I can literally check all the boxes at this time. Lol.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

I have developed a general disliking of life and people. Can't trust anyone anymore. I feel very tired all the time, extremely sad all the time, angry at myself for letting all the crap to happen. Used to have all sorts of psychosomatic issues, from hives to chronic digestive problems, due to anxiety. But I don't think any mental issue I've had was enough to actually make me look for a good method (although I know there's no infallible method)... I just feel stupid and a failure. Maybe I am too proud. I'm drained. Too many years of trying hard to feel better, and I just can't.

 

[21Neberg]

I can't even be bothered to make a list anymore. I know what I want - and that's to leave this horrible world.

 

[Redt2go]

Honestly at this point I just don't want to live into old age. I think it'll either be a few years or it'll happen spontaneously one night. I don't even feel sad about it anymore.

 

[couragetodie]

I had a fucked childhood but it's all relative. Others had worse childhoods but overcome adversity and ended up happy, successful people. I guess this is a good reason why I want to ctb: I didn't do a great job as a human. I didn't fulfil my potential. Even if this website turns out to be some kind of black hat hacker blue whale for adults (lol), I don't care tbh. I failed as a human, have had depression since I was a child, don't believe I can overcome it, see a bleak af future and don't want to carry on the charade. I believe I am operating out of free will. I suppose one never truly knows what one controls. I have certainly had my moments of faith in a higher power and wondered just how much we do control of all this. And then I have had my moments where I believe we have control of it all. Certainly, fear of an afterlife, reincarnation influence my thinking but I was taught those things. And perhaps taught them by those with agendas. Or maybe I am just manufacturing excuses so I can avoid my responsibilities. I don't know. I just know that I have suffered up and down my whole life and I am tired of it. I just need to find the courage to ctb. And be able to repress the pain associated with it.

 

[anonymous23x]

I proved my own points, proving points was my way lose the "what ifs" when it came to ctb.

No one will ever know how much i really tried to escape the path which will lead to me catching the bus.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

No one will ever know how much i really tried to escape the path which will lead to me catching the bus.

I relate to that 100%.