Story “Recovery” from depression

[innominesatanas44]

I've been recovered from depression since 4 years. At least, my definition of recovered which is that I can at least feel happiness now. I did it on my own with no therapy or drugs (though that would have definitely helped).

When I was depressed I always thought that when I recovered life would be better, happier. More meaningful.

But it hasn't. I still have low self esteem. A lot of stress. I still have apathy and a defeatist attitude and no ambition for life. I still watch everyone else get ahead of me. I still struggle with social skills. And I'm even lonelier than before. Plus its hard for me not to miss the strange solace and comfort of my past depression.

It's strange. I have a lot of things to look forward to in the future and in life that I should be excited for. So many things I haven't experienced yet. Yet I still struggle with suicidal ideation. I still find it hard to actually give a shit.

Anyway. Maybe that will resonate with somebody.

 

[Spiked_Coffee]

I've been recovered from depression since 4 years. At least, my definition of recovered which is that I can at least feel happiness now. I did it on my own with no therapy or drugs (though that would have definitely helped).

When I was depressed I always thought that when I recovered life would be better, happier. More meaningful.

But it hasn't. I still have low self esteem. A lot of stress. I still have apathy and a defeatist attitude and no ambition for life. I still watch everyone else get ahead of me. I still struggle with social skills. And I'm even lonelier than before. Plus its hard for me not to miss the strange solace and comfort of my past depression.

It's strange. I have a lot of things to look forward to in the future and in life that I should be excited for. So many things I haven't experienced yet. Yet I still struggle with suicidal ideation. I still find it hard to actually give a shit.

Anyway. Maybe that will resonate with somebody.

It definitely resonates with me. What i want to say take one step at the time and dont hate yourself for not being ahead in life where you think you are supposed to be.
I wont say that life will get better, it may or may not do that, depends on everything also on what you do with it, so you have some kind of influence on it, though i understand it doesnt feel like that in your state.
Anyway i wish you good luck in your journey

 

[timf]

In regard to others "getting ahead", there was a movie called "Going in Style". George Burns was one of three retired guys who decide to rob a bank. In the movie is a scene where George Burns reflects back on his life and says, "I have had enough of everything in life except money, and the guys that went after that paid too high a price." I thought that was insightful regarding many who might be considered "successful".

If you can carve out for yourself a life with a few simple pleasures, some room to experiment with different activities, and perhaps even some volunteer work, you might find a a peaceful momentum that in itself become a foundation for more ambitious attempts such as relationships. If you look at it from an experimental perspective, it might remove expectations that can amplify a sense of failure. Even when an experiment fails, it provides useful information for future attempts.

 

[Chacha]

I've been recovered from depression since 4 years. At least, my definition of recovered which is that I can at least feel happiness now. I did it on my own with no therapy or drugs (though that would have definitely helped).

When I was depressed I always thought that when I recovered life would be better, happier. More meaningful.

But it hasn't. I still have low self esteem. A lot of stress. I still have apathy and a defeatist attitude and no ambition for life. I still watch everyone else get ahead of me. I still struggle with social skills. And I'm even lonelier than before. Plus its hard for me not to miss the strange solace and comfort of my past depression.

It's strange. I have a lot of things to look forward to in the future and in life that I should be excited for. So many things I haven't experienced yet. Yet I still struggle with suicidal ideation. I still find it hard to actually give a shit.

Anyway. Maybe that will resonate with somebody.

I have my doubts, at this point I am giving up. I worked so hard and I have not get anything in return. I am exhausted, I do not have a job, friends. love and support. I do not like to be alone it is dangerous being on my own as the only thing I can do is self destruct myself. I only need love and support a job . This will be my recovery. I do not blame that you did not take medication and went to therapy, now I cannot pay for my medication if I take it It will not help as I will not buy food for a month. I do not have a job and no income that leaves me on the limbo.