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M30W

M30W

The bus is late?
Dec 7, 2023
29
Can we please talk about how life is like if you try to CTB but fail? I don't mean to trigger anyone or if you don't want to be bombarded with questions please make that know. However I would love to hear stories of people who are recovering from failed attempts and how it impacts your life and starting from how you did it with your thought process? :) sorry to sound like a total creep!
 
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carac

carac

Banned
May 27, 2023
1,116
I don't think you sound like a creep at all. I think it will be different for everyone. Personally directly after I failed I fell into a deep feeling of dread and being trapped here. I then made 3 more failed attempts in the space of about a week. With nothing else left I had to reach out to my Doctor which lead to me opening up to my family and going voluntarily to a psych ward for a few days. It didn't really help me recover though all it did was buy me a couple more painful months in which I was still researching and planning methods.

I was very lucky though. I discovered the solutions to a lot of my problems and now I am able to live. I still struggle with stuff but life is tolerable.

I don't regret what I did, I was making a rational decision. I think some people expect you to be gratetful for being alive and after you survive and attempt you are glad you are still here, I wouldn't say that happened to me at all. Now I am just kind of indifferent to life.
 
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M30W

M30W

The bus is late?
Dec 7, 2023
29
I don't think you sound like a creep at all. I think it will be different for everyone. Personally directly after I failed I fell into a deep feeling of dread and being trapped here. I then made 3 more failed attempts in the space of about a week. With nothing else left I had to reach out to my Doctor which lead to me opening up to my family and going voluntarily to a psych ward for a few days. It didn't really help me recover though all it did was buy me a couple more painful months in which I was still researching and planning methods.

I was very lucky though. I discovered the solutions to a lot of my problems and now I am able to live. I still struggle with stuff but life is tolerable.

I don't regret what I did, I was making a rational decision. I think some people expect you to be gratetful for being alive and after you survive and attempt you are glad you are still here, I wouldn't say that happened to me at all. Now I am just kind of indifferent to life.
Thank you for sharing and for saying I don't sound like a creep haha. This Is what I kinda expected to hear i'm glad your life is tolerable :). Not trying to make this about me but just hearing about you going through therapy was it worth it? do you think you would be somewhere different without it? being completely honest because I know a lot of angsty teens just say they hate it haha. for the past couple of years I've Benn getting told that I will get to see a therapist because it might help when in reality I think its just because there tired of hearing my problems, I don't thin I would really mind it but if anyone knew that I did I would be scared of looking like i'm attention seeking.
 
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carac

carac

Banned
May 27, 2023
1,116
Thank you for sharing and for saying I don't sound like a creep haha. This Is what I kinda expected to hear i'm glad your life is tolerable :). Not trying to make this about me but just hearing about you going through therapy was it worth it? do you think you would be somewhere different without it? being completely honest because I know a lot of angsty teens just say they hate it haha. for the past couple of years I've Benn getting told that I will get to see a therapist because it might help when in reality I think its just because there tired of hearing my problems, I don't thin I would really mind it but if anyone knew that I did I would be scared of looking like i'm attention seeking.
I didn't go to therapy I got lucky or unlucky depending on how you look at it. I found out what the problem was and I fixed it, lucky becuase I stumbled on it myself but unlucky because the answer had been there all along and for about 26 years, nobody ever pointed it out to me.

Therapy can work but it's complicated. It depends how solvable your issues are, how good your therapist is, how willing you are to work at it. And there is loads of different therapies to try. Talking to a therapist can be a good first step though.
 
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M30W

M30W

The bus is late?
Dec 7, 2023
29
I didn't go to therapy I got lucky or unlucky depending on how you look at it. I found out what the problem was and I fixed it, lucky becuase I stumbled on it myself but unlucky because the answer had been there all along and for about 26 years, nobody ever pointed it out to me.

Therapy can work but it's complicated. It depends how solvable your issues are, how good your therapist is, how willing you are to work at it. And there is loads of different therapies to try. Talking to a therapist can be a good first step though.
ohh I see thank you. I'm glad for you and hope you stay healthy :)
 
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LunarLynx

LunarLynx

Just a lost spirit searching freedom
Dec 18, 2023
97
It was a few month ago. One of my friend tried to CTB. I was a fail and we suggest her (kinda forced her) to go into a psychotherapeutic center. She went in for 3 weeks. she skipped class (we're in college) and felt a lot better. I talk about it with her not long ago and she said it helped her a lot. She still have suicidal thought but "nothing too unbearable".

For me however, I failed CTB one time (I don't really qualify it as CTB, I tried to OD paracetamol, about 9g of it). Nobody found me I just vomited 1 or 2 times. I selfharmed for a bit too when I was younger, my parents find out and send me to a psychologist. It helped maybe a year... IG

But now I'm here, searching for method to CTB. Nothing really change but now I don't do it for seeking attention or whatever, and that's why I'm informing myself on this forum. I'll finally catch the bus.

To conclude, I think after a failed attemps there is 2 states of mind. Either you regain taste for life, or on the other end, want even more to CTB.

Have a good day/night !
 
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