Recovery waiting period

[Life_and_Death]

Im feeling better after the whole birthday/mental breakdown thing. I was thinking i could start working on recovery again but im not sure.

My friend is worried to the point of being upset about it. But im just not quite feeling it. I mean i can cut down on the drinking and the cutting, but to get entirely back on the "itll be ok" boat.....idk.
Maybe a couple days to just chill in between mental breakdowns and recovery isnt a bad idea. Everyone needs a quiet period now and again expecially after something stressful.

 

[Flippy]

I saw another one of your posts, and I'm not sure what happened at this birthday incident but I get the feeling it's been very upsetting for you :-(

I think experiences like that can be exhausting in all sorts of ways. So it's important to be kind to yourself as it seems you have identified. I think that's a good place to start and build up your reserves for bigger challenges. Rome wasn't built in a day, a lot of little steps add up in the end. :-)

 

[Life_and_Death]

sudden need for self destruction (i need a picture of a body blowing up. just...............oh right theres words i dont like either. i hate him) anyway i cut and was thinking about making a post outside of my norm and something i might have advised against???? Anyway im probably not going to but it was going to ask about another option. I use smaller blades

Spoiler: For purose of advice but id prefer if you didnt read otherwise, but i cant stop you

(pencil sharpeners/utility blades)

and i was wondering if there was anything like it but sharper, easier to cut and to control. I used another type of blade

Spoiler: you shouldnt read this either for the same reason. i just dont like sharing what blades i use

(shaving razor)

but i didnt like the feel of them. Im not sure how to explain it but anyone that knows would know what i mean. (now i dont need to and its just info in an 'i feel like shit' update)
And i got high (my meds that kept the anxiety and voices away apparently wore off since i havent been taking them) and i want a drink.
Why do i bother? Hes never going to trust me again and ive come to terms with that.