Help relapse

[bear_trapped]

i havent been on this site or harming myself for the past few months and i actually convinced myself that i was getting better. i reconnected with old friends at school and actually felt happy for a short amount of time. however, im right back to square one and don't know what to do. i've been anxious all day for no reason and now my arm is awful to look at. i haven't felt this bad in a while and i don't even know what's causing it. i think it's probably a build up of multiple different things going on. i'm tired of feeling like this all the time though, it feels like things are never going to actually get better. everytime i think recovery is an option, my brain ruins it and goes right back to planning to ctb. it all feels so worthless, the thought of going before graduation is the only thing that calms my mind.

i can't even ask anyone at school for help because i've already had to talk to the principal and counselor about suicidal thoughts i stupidly googled on my school computer. i somehow convinced them both that i'm not actually suicidal but now i cant ask them for mental health help because they'll know i was lying before. i don't want to get sent to a psych ward. i just want medication or a therapist but don't know how to get either (or if they'll even help). i'm just at a loss right now

 

[dospi1]

im also in a bad low right now, what ive try to do during the relapse is stop it when it first come, keep your mind busy whit anything, phisical things seem to work best to me. but if you're in the middle of one remeber you were good not very long ago, that this tunel haves an end, that what keeps me going during this hard lows. im very sorry you are going trough this, pls try to talk to your school, tell them that youve been felling low lately if they ask about the school computer tell them you werent very serious about it you just need someone to talk, they can and will send you to a therapist which is your best shot. the best of luck man hope it gets better soon

 

[ThriveOrDie]

i havent been on this site or harming myself for the past few months and i actually convinced myself that i was getting better. i reconnected with old friends at school and actually felt happy for a short amount of time. however, im right back to square one and don't know what to do. i've been anxious all day for no reason and now my arm is awful to look at. i haven't felt this bad in a while and i don't even know what's causing it. i think it's probably a build up of multiple different things going on. i'm tired of feeling like this all the time though, it feels like things are never going to actually get better. everytime i think recovery is an option, my brain ruins it and goes right back to planning to ctb. it all feels so worthless, the thought of going before graduation is the only thing that calms my mind.

i can't even ask anyone at school for help because i've already had to talk to the principal and counselor about suicidal thoughts i stupidly googled on my school computer. i somehow convinced them both that i'm not actually suicidal but now i cant ask them for mental health help because they'll know i was lying before. i don't want to get sent to a psych ward. i just want medication or a therapist but don't know how to get either (or if they'll even help). i'm just at a loss right now

I wouldn't worry about them knowing you lied. You could even start the convo by saying "I'm sorry but I lied. I'm actually not okay. I want to get help." Just don't tell them how bad it is….don't use the S word.

 

[timf]

The fact that you have had some success is a good reason to believe that you can again.

You might try calling a hospital in your area and see if you can find a psychiatric nurse to talk with. She might be able to tell you what options you have or she might know of a support group you could visit and that might connect you with a network of people who might be able to tell you about other options. Another resource might be a mental health halfway house and if you call them, they might also know of resources for you.

 

[bear_trapped]

im also in a bad low right now, what ive try to do during the relapse is stop it when it first come, keep your mind busy whit anything, phisical things seem to work best to me. but if you're in the middle of one remeber you were good not very long ago, that this tunel haves an end, that what keeps me going during this hard lows. im very sorry you are going trough this, pls try to talk to your school, tell them that youve been felling low lately if they ask about the school computer tell them you werent very serious about it you just need someone to talk, they can and will send you to a therapist which is your best shot. the best of luck man hope it gets better soon

thank you, i might try to talk to someone at school. i hope you reach the end of your tunnel as well, it's very rough to be lost in one. good luck to you too