Story Revisiting the war I waged against prolifers (2015-2019)

[TAW122]

I may have told this story before (seen in another thread last year, and the original one a few years ago), but this time I'm revamping it and summarizing the story, broken down into three main points, as well as giving my thought process on it. This is something that happened way before the pandemic and many years ago.

When TAW122 waged war against the pro-lifers, aka the 'Huggy-Trolly wars' (2015-2019)
As far back as 2014, when I was unable to reach a conclusion with a debate against a religious prolifer roommate I had, I could not fathom the illogical and irrationality of prolifers, compounded by the irrationality of religion (making it worse and even more imposing). As a result of this impasse and not reaching a logical conclusion, coupled with turmoil of how things were in life, I had to cope. So during the early part of 2015, I devised an coping mechanism, and at first, it seemed to be silly, but later, it seemed to do the trick and accomplish something that allowed me to get into 2019, which was a good year when compared to the years (2020-present) succeeding it.

How the war accomplished what it did, three objectives with one war
Here are the three objectives that I've accomplished with this war of mine.

1. The first objective is the hugs part, I get hugs from people that I've selected from and want, which acts as a cope for me, and while it won't stop me from (ultimately) CTB'ing in the end, it would at least alleviate the present and short-term suffering that I endure on a day to day basis, allowing me to function a bit better. For those that don't hug me, I respect their will but at a cost (hence the trolly part of the war).
   
   
2. The second objective is to get back at prolifers for (indirectly) forcing me to continue sentience whether it is actively preventing me to CTB, not supporting policy that legalizes voluntary euthanasia, abolish involuntary commitment/forced hospitalization, and more. It was clever (as explained in another thread) since it was low key enough not to result in legal trouble while still making the prolifers pay a bit for their collective forced sentience against me (and pro-choicers in general).
   
   
3. The third objective is proving the point (albeit in a crude way) that their claim of life is good and prevent CTB at all costs (barring maybe terminal illnesses) is not objective but subjective. If prolifers can claim that life is good and a valuable thing to be protected, extended, and impose this will against me, then I too can claim that hugs is a good thing (albeit subjective) is just as irrational and subjective as their claim on life. Essentially, proof of contradiction by symmetry and mirroring.

This lasted until 2019, until I met my ladyfriend which ended this annoying and childish war of mine as her hugs and my encounter with her went smoothly. I suppose that is the most important thing of my encounter back in March 2019 (pre-pandemic times). Of course, this doesn't mean that my stance of wanting to CTB has changed, it has only allowed me to push the CTB down to a later date, which of course I do regret since 2020 and to present day things just suck and now I'm struggling to find the perfect time and circumstance to CTB. I have most of the things ready as of now, and only need to acquire my means subtly again (yes due to life circumstances I lost access to it - while technically I could try to access it indirectly it is difficult and would raise red flags causing unwanted consequences for me, so I won't do it that way..) and find an opportunity to check out of existence.

In conclusion, in present day (ever since I met my ladyfriend and had a good encounter with her), I have never went on this kind of operation anymore. I saw that it was futile and most likely childish and it certainly did not achieve much. I would not apologize for my stance on pro-choice and I still (and have always) stood by pro-choice values, even if it caused friction among people I interact with (pro-lifers).

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never imagine that any kind of conflict with pro life people would really achieve much, like it wouldn't legalise N or make suicide methods more accessible which is what pro choice people wish to achieve, a society where suicide is no longer so stigmatised. I think that a lot of pro life people are quite stubborn and are blinded by their privilege and delusions, I think that many would likely only change their views towards suicide if something happened to make them suicidal themselves.

 

[TAW122]

I could never imagine that any kind of conflict with pro life people would really achieve much, like it wouldn't legalise N or make suicide methods more accessible which is what pro choice people wish to achieve, a society where suicide is no longer so stigmatised. I think that a lot of pro life people are quite stubborn and are blinded by their privilege and delusions, I think that many would likely only change their views towards suicide if something happened to make them suicidal themselves.

Yes that would be true for the most part, especially if/when a pro-lifer experiences something traumatic such as a the loss of a loved one, family member, etc. However, this roommate whom I was talking about (back in 2014), he had quite a few losses in his family, however, he still remained steadfast and strong not only in his religious beliefs, but also anti-choice, anti-suicide, and doubling down on that 'death is not an acceptable outcome' and that 'suicide is always wrong, and never an option'. He did slightly back down a bit on terminal illnesses, but still heavily disapproved of not enduring until the end.

Additionally, that summer, in 2015, I too, had an extended family member pass away and went overseas (with my father) to attend her funeral. This event did not change me, but instead only served to reinforce how cruel life is and that having a means to exit (especially peacefully) would have been the mercy that all of us here seek. My views on the right to die never changed since I learned about the topic of assisted suicide, voluntary euthanasia, and death with dignity, in fact, over the years, I've only grown more steadfast in my belief of having the ultimate freedom and act to choose to end one's own suffering on one's own terms.