Venting Santa deniers are making me suicidal

[BeansOfRequirement]

Seems like you can't browse any part of the internet, OR EVEN TALK TO YOUR FUCKING FAMILY, without running into this shit. I keep presenting them with the arguments (not even really necessary, but apparently that's where we're at) and they can barely even string one sentence together without acting superior or laughing at me/running away from the discussion.

Just looking to vent, I suppose. Anyone else having trouble with this? I know others do encounter this as well, maybe I'm just bad at dealing with this sort of thing. How am I supposed to just stand there and listen to these absurd claims and conspiracy theories every damn year? I'm not planning on getting into any debate in this thread, since I don't think you could get through the thick skulls of Santa deniers with a fucking lightsaber.

I'm just so tired, guys.

 

[Julgran]

Santa lives in you

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Santa lives in you

Like gut bacteria?

 

[Julgran]

Like gut bacteria?

It depends on what you have eaten - either it can be Santa or Satan

 

[Kennish]

I don't understand this thread. I'm reading it like you believe in Santa, and all the people around you don't? I don't understand, why is this important?

 

[needed_]

I have a brother who is 1 year older than me and I remember when I was 5 or 6 he told me Santa isn't real and he kept repeating it and I was so scared that Santa would hear it and never come to our house again

 

[4eyebiped]

I have a brother who is 1 year older than me and I remember when I was 5 or 6 he told me Santa isn't real and he kept repeating it and I was so scared that Santa would hear it and never come to our house again

He must had heard it as he hasn't come to my house in over 30 years. He is holding this grudge a little too long because I need me some new shit now!

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

why is this important?

Because there is a vocal minority of Santa deniers that more or less make my life even more shitty than it already is... Every. Fucking. Christmas.

 

[CrossroadsCurious]

Santa is on his way, hope you've been good.

https://santatracker.google.com/

 

[Kennish]

Because there is a vocal minority of Santa deniers that more or less make my life even more shitty than it already is... Every. Fucking. Christmas.

I still don't get. Do you believe in Santa Claus? And you hate the people around that don't? Is this serious?

I'm not trying to be rude.

 

[steviewonder]

Seems like you can't browse any part of the internet, OR EVEN TALK TO YOUR FUCKING FAMILY, without running into this shit. I keep presenting them with the arguments (not even really necessary, but apparently that's where we're at) and they can barely even string one sentence together without acting superior or laughing at me/running away from the discussion.

Just looking to vent, I suppose. Anyone else having trouble with this? I know others do encounter this as well, maybe I'm just bad at dealing with this sort of thing. How am I supposed to just stand there and listen to these absurd claims and conspiracy theories every damn year? I'm not planning on getting into any debate in this thread, since I don't think you could get through the thick skulls of Santa deniers with a fucking lightsaber.

I'm just so tired, guys.

We live in a period of mass psychosis. I suggest you buy my new and improved water purifier . It'll remove the harmful chemicals from the water you drink and turn you gay

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I still don't get. Do you believe in Santa Claus? And you hate the people around that don't? Is this serious?

I'm not trying to be rude.

It's not really a matter of belief, I don't have any religious fervor about Santa lol. I just follow the evidence to where it takes me. No, I don't hate all Santa deniers, it's just the way that they "argue" that can really hurt me emotionally.

 

[Kennish]

It's not really a matter of belief, I don't have any religious fervor about Santa lol. I just follow the evidence to where it takes me. No, I don't hate all Santa deniers, it's just the way that they "argue" that can really hurt me emotionally.

The evidence what do you mean? You got proof that Santa is real? I would very much like to see that

How do they argue?

I don't think I've ever gotten in to a discussion about the reality of Santa with anyone. You know. For real.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

The evidence what do you mean? You got proof that Santa is real? I would very much like to see that

Are you serious?

1. The presents say they're from Santa.
2. I've met Santa several times.
3. The cookies and milk are consumed by Santa, disappearing without anyone else touching them.
4. At some malls you can literally go see Santa if you haven't met him yet.

 

[filthyrottendirty]

lmao

 

[Kennish]

Are you serious?

1. The presents say they're from Santa.
2. I've met Santa several times.
3. The cookies and milk are consumed by Santa, disappearing without anyone else touching them.
4. At some malls you can literally go see Santa if you haven't met him yet.

I've never gotten a present from Santa

 

[Deleted member 8579]

The Boy Who Laughed at Santa Claus

In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.

In school he never led his classes,
He hid old ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked NO ADMITTANCE.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.

Another trick that tickled Jabez
Was crying 'Boo' at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in town,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Yet people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
'There isn't any Santa Claus!'

Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.

Like whooping cough, from child to child,
He sped to spread the rumor wild:
'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes
There isn't any Santa Claus!'
Slunk like a weasel of a marten
Through nursery and kindergarten,
Whispering low to every tot,
'There isn't any, no there's not!'

The children wept all Christmas eve
And Jabez chortled up his sleeve.
No infant dared hang up his stocking
For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking.

He sprawled on his untidy bed,
Fresh malice dancing in his head,
When presently with scalp-a-tingling,
Jabez heard a distant jingling;
He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof
Crisply alighting on the roof.
What good to rise and bar the door?
A shower of soot was on the floor.

What was beheld by Jabez Dawes?
The fireplace full of Santa Claus!
Then Jabez fell upon his knees
With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.'
He howled, 'I don't know where you read it,
But anyhow, I never said it!'
'Jabez' replied the angry saint,
'It isn't I, it's you that ain't.
Although there is a Santa Claus,
There isn't any Jabez Dawes!'

Said Jabez then with impudent vim,
'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!
Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'
And suddenly he found he wasn't!
From grimy feet to grimy locks,
Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,
An ugly toy with springs unsprung,
Forever sticking out his tongue.

The neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
They searched for him, but not with zeal.
No trace was found of Jabez Dawes,
Which led to thunderous applause,
And people drank a loving cup
And went and hung their stockings up.

All you who sneer at Santa Claus,
Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes,
The saucy boy who mocked the saint.
Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint.

Ogden Nash

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Of course Santa Claus is real, after all he invented Sprite soda. Look it up.

 

[Pluto]

The real Santa is Greek.

...or, a different interpretation:

 

[OrcWitch]

Imagine not believing in santa claus.

 

[rationaltake]

I don't like Father Christmas. Last year I saw him in the Co-op and asked him if he could cop for a nice new bungalow by the sea. He just laughed snidely and then told me to bugger off. Last time his bloody reindeer get any carrots out of me! And they're not even houstrained anyway. That puddle under the tree was nothing to do with me...

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I believe in Sa"N"ta Claus

 

[Choco]

So basically people who dont believe in santa are being mean to you bc you believe in it? Its ok to believe in Santa, he is in your heart and that's what matters. Dont let these people's comments get to you.

 

[NasiGoreng]

I'm sorry all these people cant see what you see, and understand reality. Why would there be so many movies and believers all over the world if he wasn't real? I have also seen his reindeer's a few times, but I always keep it too myself since im apparently too old for such things.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Birth of jesus and the validity of his existence? I sleep.
Proving the presence of santa? Real shit.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

If he was real, he would have at least given me coal for the coal method.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm just so tired, guys.

At least you don't live in a country where people still sign petitions to ban Santa from blasphemously ringing his bell near churches. Priests bitch-slap him with impunity & encourage folks to burn his effigies. I'm not even making this shit up.

 

[justsayin]

I've never gotten a present from Santa

You also have problems with getting jokes, it seems.

The real Santa is Greek.

Santa Claus is combination of Saint Nicholas and Ded Moroz (aka Grandpa Frost). Ded Moroz predates Christianity and was absorbed into it, just like the celebration of what is now known as Christmas.

 

[Kennish]

You also have problems with getting jokes, it seems.

Maybe. But I was also not trying to hurt OP feelings, if he indeed really believed in Santa.

I don't know. There must be some grown ups out there who believes in the big man in red, right?

 

[justsayin]

Maybe. But I was also not trying to hurt OP feelings, if he indeed really believed in Santa.

I don't know. There must be some grown ups out there who believes in the big man in red, right?

OP is one of the biggest trolls on the forum.

Grown ups don't belive in Santa, but in gods and prophets. First post is a satire of religion.