DepressedAngel
Life is exhausting
- Dec 4, 2019
- 146
I'm crying I don't want to get butterflies when I see my best friend. I'm so tired of change and maybe not being straight. It's not that I have a problem being bi it's just so much to deal with figuring out right now. I'm so tired of this. Sometimes I wish I could just be numb again so I wouldn't have to deal with this. But I honestly love having feelings and feeling human and having mood swings and everything. The warmer weather here has made me happy even if doesn't last and even that short happiness keeps me going. Do you think I will ever be able to recover? Because right now it feels like everything overwhelms me and makes me want to cry. Even over the good things I start crying. Also, how do you know when you have a crush on someone? Or when you like them as more than a friend? Because I'm mostly getting butterflies around her, and I think she's very pretty and I would definitely make out with her if I had the chance....but I don't know. I feel like people will hate me if I decide I'm straight or if I get better and recover. Would people here hate me if i got better? I'm so scared of going back and of getting better. I'm so sorry my thoughts are all over the place and this doesn't make any sense. I love everyone here so much, thank you for being so supportive of me. Sending love