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Aeathelina

Aeathelina

Little Homeless Girl
Feb 5, 2020
307
I know that my time is coming to an end but I know me enough to know that it won't be any time soon because I am a coward .
It feels more like I've been on the road to Death for nearly ten years , more like flirting with it through alcohol and drug overdoses and an ever growing Eating Disorder that nearly killed me. I want nothing more than to die but the idea of a violent death scares me on some deep vain level which is impressive because I hate myself
 
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Reactions: toseeyousmile, Élégie, Scribble Fan and 6 others
Lone_Gray_Wolf

Lone_Gray_Wolf

Fate plays chess with 2 queens
Aug 21, 2020
263
We all fight with our very own demons and thoughts, we may want to just leave by N, but perhaps the money or customs is a problem, the SN too; but not so easy to get for everyone. Is hard and the feeling of dragging it out just increases the weight and questioning of 'why am I still here?"; which are not the easiest to deal and can go deep into a rabbit hole.

I can only wish you luck dealing with that.
 
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Reactions: Beeper and PeacefulTonic
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,972
You are not cowardly, of course suicide is very difficult. We are programmed to survive after all. Nobody should have to resort using a violent method, we all deserve a peaceful exit but the society tries to force us to live. Whatever happens, I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
june

june

Experienced
May 25, 2020
207
I've been reading a lot of posts like this. Its tough
 

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