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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
I relapsed last night after almost 100 days clean:((

I thought I had everything under control, but I think it was really because I was feeling pretty good for most of that time. But as soon as something bad happened, I got.so overwhelmed and had a massive anxiety attack and flashbacks, and I just had to cut.

I thought I was past this:(( But now I feel like what's even the point of trying to get clean bc I'm still gonna have to hide the markings either way.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,760
All you know so far is that you've gone from doing it every day/week to once every 100 days. Nothing to be sad about, tbh.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,250
Considering your interval, you had quite an achievement. You might want to invent some strategy that would be slightly less harmful (like a pin prick) for the next time you feel a relapse coming on. This could help you work on both a longer duration as well as a lesser relapse (if one happens). Both should bolster your sense of control.
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Specialist
Mar 24, 2019
357
I relapsed last night after almost 100 days clean:((

I thought I had everything under control, but I think it was really because I was feeling pretty good for most of that time. But as soon as something bad happened, I got.so overwhelmed and had a massive anxiety attack and flashbacks, and I just had to cut.

I thought I was past this:(( But now I feel like what's even the point of trying to get clean bc I'm still gonna have to hide the markings either way.
I understand you friend, I am having relapses of depression and suicidal thoughts, I know how difficult it is
 
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TotallyIsolated

Mage
Nov 25, 2019
590
Its ok. You did really well, and having had a bad day doesn't take that away. Be kind to yourself :happy:
 
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expiredhuman

expiredhuman

Member
Feb 24, 2019
6
Relapsing doesn't take anything away from the fact that you did amazing for almost 100 whole ass days! I think you should be proud of yourself
 
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