Discussion Self Sabotage

[storeboughtisfine]

What are some ways you nullify or neutralize self-sabotage attempts?

I've been eyeing CCS to buy SN... just in case I ever decide I need it, but I feel like just having it will make things worse. You know?

 

[Valky]

Ohh, I actually never thought of it this way. I always thought having SN would make me feel calmer. I do not wish to ctb any time soon but just having it and knowing that I will always have that option if things go downhill makes me feel calm.

Why do you feel that way tho? Are you scared you will act impulsive while having it?

 

[Hirokami]

I've honestly thought of doing something similar, but with exit bag supplies instead just in case things get irredeemably worse. At least I'd have that by my side and not feel obligated to "stay".

However, I ultimately have decided against it. I don't live alone, and if anyone were to find these supplies, they'd ask questions at best and persecute at worst. Plus, I might be impulsive and mess up if I do it during one of my breakdowns; I could very well end up a vegetable if I fail to take the right precautions. If I were to go through with this, I'd rather be in a grounded state of mind.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

What are some ways you nullify or neutralize self-sabotage attempts?

I've been eyeing CCS to buy SN... just in case I ever decide I need it, but I feel like just having it will make things worse. You know?

What you did by posting about this is actually ome good thing you did already actually. By posting about it here you invited accountability. And because you did and I could see it, that gives me the opportunity to tell you: don't waste your time on this. The only thing this accomplishes is derailing your thoughts to a darker place.

If the time comes that you change your mind, the resources you are looking into here will still be available. And frankly, if you've done your research around here then you know sources for what you are looking for change constantly; the likelihood that a source you find right now will still be available down the road are low, but other new ones will be available instead.

With that in mind, seeking out sources now isn't practically useful for that theoretical scenario down the road. Again, it's only effect right now is to encourage your thinking to be in a place that is unhealthy if the opportunity both exists for you to get better and that opportunity is also something you want.

If you are experiencing wanting to look into those sources in an impulsive way, maybe try to redirect it toward something more positive. Look up more facts about the chemistry of other materials. Put on good music to relax to. Seek out your partner to talk to. Something that works for you that is also not following that urge. The quicker you act to get ahead of these urges, the easier it will be to curb them. I know you can do it though.

 

[luminiby]

Acting on impulse is never okay. Being at peace and having a sound mind when doing the deed will always be the correct option. I agree that having access to SN and it being in your house will only take one mishap to push you over the edge and do something you will immediately regret

Anything of use to successfully ctb should only be of arms reach when you know you're 100% ready.

 

[fakeimportance]

Damn I struggle so much with this right now too. I'm supposed to be in active recovery from a suicidal breakdown, I'm on copious amounts of meds and have concluded intense therapy and my personal situation that triggered this is beginning to improve. I should be happy, I should be focusing on being happy. But somehow the lure of the darkness keeps pulling me back and I can't explain why I crave it.

Sometimes I just don't feel complete without it?

It's like a parasite in my mind.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Damn I struggle so much with this right now too. I'm supposed to be in active recovery from a suicidal breakdown, I'm on copious amounts of meds and have concluded intense therapy and my personal situation that triggered this is beginning to improve. I should be happy, I should be focusing on being happy. But somehow the lure of the darkness keeps pulling me back and I can't explain why I crave it.

Sometimes I just don't feel complete without it?

It's like a parasite in my mind.

Ah, it's exactly like this. Like I don't know how to be without suffering because I have for so long. The discomfort is familar... and comforting.

 

[Water-Lily]

What are some ways you nullify or neutralize self-sabotage attempts?

I've been eyeing CCS to buy SN... just in case I ever decide I need it, but I feel like just having it will make things worse. You know?

I feel similarly. it's why I don't have a method. Because I fear going so far down that path will lead to me telling my therapist which will get me hospitalized

Sometimes it's really just riding out whatever is making you feel like self sabotaging. Allowing yourself to feel out your emotions, cry, be angry, etc. Allow your body to be present till the wave passes