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Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
Got it from my therapist.
Be aware of all your thoughts.
And keep only ones that surve you in your current situation.
That simple.
I've just known this today.
 
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Looking

Looking

Looking for the answer.
Jan 16, 2023
245
One method my therapist had taught me about "clearing your mind" during a moment of panic is to ask yourself "Is this important enough for me to remember it in five years?" If it's not, then allow yourself to feel what you're feeling but be ready to let it go, so you can keep your head clear. Obviously, that advice doesn't apply to everything, but it really helped me out remaining calm sometimes.
 
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Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
One method my therapist had taught me about "clearing your mind" during a moment of panic is to ask yourself "Is this important enough for me to remember it in five years?" If it's not, then allow yourself to feel what you're feeling but be ready to let it go, so you can keep your head clear. Obviously, that advice doesn't apply to everything, but it really helped me out remaining calm sometimes.
This will help you see a bigger picture of sort. I have to be aware of thoughts associet and feeding the pannic attack, right?
 
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Looking

Looking

Looking for the answer.
Jan 16, 2023
245
This will help you see a bigger picture of sort. I have to be aware of thoughts associet and feeding the pannic attack, right?

Yup, pretty much!
 
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M

Moonomyth

Student
Feb 6, 2020
196
One method my therapist had taught me about "clearing your mind" during a moment of panic is to ask yourself "Is this important enough for me to remember it in five years?" If it's not, then allow yourself to feel what you're feeling but be ready to let it go, so you can keep your head clear. Obviously, that advice doesn't apply to everything, but it really helped me out remaining calm sometimes.
I keenly remember embarrassing moments where I made myself look like a fool or did something generally stupid as far back as kindergarten. Some of them are so petty that there is no reason to actually remember them at all, but there they are. It's been a problem when assessing "Is this important enough?" Probably not, but my brain is still pretty clear it's going to do that whether I like it or not.
 
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Looking

Looking

Looking for the answer.
Jan 16, 2023
245
I keenly remember embarrassing moments where I made myself look like a fool or did something generally stupid as far back as kindergarten. Some of them are so petty that there is no reason to actually remember them at all, but there they are. It's been a problem when assessing "Is this important enough?" Probably not, but my brain is still pretty clear it's going to do that whether I like it or not.

I think it depends - I mean, obviously people can't really decide what they remember and don't. But the point of the question is to assess how much energy you should be putting into something. Embarrassment is one of the strongest negative emotions - Same with guilt and shame. If you're embarrassed about something in general, it means that it might've been a "learning" moment for you. Whether or not you actually remember it in the future doesn't really take away that power, and therefore it's something you should invest your energy into.

I view it in the sense of - Does this fight that I'm having with this family member - Am I going to remember it? Unlikely, especially if there's not a lot of strong shame aspects to it. Just a fight about some food being eaten isn't on the same level of feeling like someone you cared about is making you feel ashamed. Does that make sense?

It's not that it's "important" enough really, it has to do with in this very moment, at this very moment in time, do you think it's a good investment to feel like a nervous wreck (or sad or whatever) over something like this? If you think it is, then you should. Even if it's deemed "minor" to yourself or by others.
 
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M

Moonomyth

Student
Feb 6, 2020
196
There's an assumption of intentionality here that I don't necessarily think is true for many people who experience this issue.
 
Looking

Looking

Looking for the answer.
Jan 16, 2023
245
There's an assumption of intentionality here that I don't necessarily think is true for many people who experience this issue.
What do you mean?

In general, all advice you provide will not apply to everyone, and if it doesn't then it doesn't. The advice I provided was mainly to the author of the post, and they seemed to have grasp the concept I was proposing. If it can help them, that's mainly what the advice was tailored for, not for a general audience (Though if it helps anyone else, that's awesome too.)

Most people who go through treatment via therapy end up learning skills and the ability or comprehension to self reflect and intentionally redirect emotions, as that's the point of therapy for the most part (Depends on the kind of therapy, obviously) - So with that in mind, I don't see it helping people too much if they don't have a skillset in redirection emotions with intentional efforts or an intentional mindset with the desired result changing your view of a situation overall. (In this case, clearing your mind from anxiety-ridden thoughts.) The method above is what helped me personally when it comes to clearing my mind.
 
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my_sundown

my_sundown

My Sundown.
Jan 17, 2023
67
I couldn't do it - stop the thoughts - the compulsive thinking and anxiety was my friend for so long. I started on a medicine and it took all that away so fast. But I've learned to be careful what I wished for because now that I'm not compulsively thinking about things, I realize how crappy my life is(in my eyes).

Anyway, I go to therapy and it's not helping. Sorry, feeling kind of sad.
 
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assasmash

assasmash

Member
Jan 23, 2023
8
Got it from my therapist.
Be aware of all your thoughts.
And keep only ones that surve you in your current situation.
That simple.
I've just known this today.
Some of my favorite therapists have offered practical stuff along those lines. Something the last one gave me was to focus on trees and nature and etc. while outdoors, as a way of keeping my thoughts outward and opposed to on inner anxiety and daydreaming. Daydreaming is one of my big vices. I like to visually trace the silhouette of trees and such as a form of mindful walking meditation. It does help, if I discipline myself to keep it up.
 
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I

imtryingmybest

i'm so tired
Jan 22, 2023
10
when it comes to embarassing things, I prefer to think that the embarassment means that i have grown as a person and that it is no longer a reflection of who i am today. i honestly don't really like the idea of dismissing thoughts, i prefer to let myself think about it in a controlled way
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
401
When it comes to "embarrassing memories", it is useful to keep in mind the spotlight effect—each of us is at the centre of our own world, so we are inclined to think that others pay a lot more attention to us than they actually do. In reality, most people are also constantly focused on their own experience, and thinking that everyone else is focusing on them.

i honestly don't really like the idea of dismissing thoughts, i prefer to let myself think about it in a controlled way
Yes, being aware of one's thoughts and developing the ability to deal with them in a controlled, detached manner is preferable to suppressing or dismissing them outright.
 
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Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
There's an assumption of intentionality here that I don't necessarily think is true for many people who experience this issue.
Some thought are really emotionally charged Almost to point we have 0 control over pour body but if you keep aware of those thoughts, the moment they lose their grip on you even a littel ,you can decide to focus on other things as mentioned. Is this really worth my energy or what do i really want now? Will i remember this in 3 years. What thoughts serve me now in my situation and perhaps more relevant questions that direct you. I find therapy helpful in this sens BC it helps bé aware of most of your négative dégrading thoughts and perhaps provide you with a methods to filter them. I' m not an expert patient, i only had 3 sessions. Intentions and patience are important if we get a bit of relief of our symptôme we might as well feed those intentions.
 
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