sharing with loved ones

[Mamihlapinatapei]

Hi all lovely people,

I'm wondering how much and what you share about leaving life with your loved ones? I'm having difficulty finding a barier with mine. It's hea;ing to share certain details with some close ones, but I'm eager to hear yout experiences.

 

[TheHolySword]

This is something I'm struggling with as well. I don't know how much to say or what to say exactly. I don't really think that it would help them to know all the details. I will likely just say it isn't their fault, there isn't anything that anyone could have done. It will already debilitate them emotionally, I don't know that I should pour on how sad I have been for so long or the crippling loneliness I have felt all my life. I'll be gone so it won't be relieving for me to say any of these things and I don't think it would help to hear them. What matters is that they know how much I loved them and that it isn't their fault

 

[unknown_xav]

Pretty hard for me to be honest. I have expressed my issues with a loved one, but they are also hurt by it, and do not want to see me struggle or go in any way. Its a double edged sword I guess, cause in many instances loved ones feel hurt by such discussions, so sometimes I always have to restrain what I say. But I think its always important to let them know even if something happens after, its not their fault and they could not have done anything else.

 

[ineedyoutoloveme]

In all of my previous notes that went unused, I just elaborated on my affection and love for them, and how it wasn't really anyone's fault. More specific than affection, was gratitude. I went from person to person writing how I was grateful for each and every one of them and what they have done for me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't tell my family. There's nothing they can do to help. I'm hoping to hold on until my Dad goes first too- so- what he doesn't know can't hurt him- type thing. If I get to a point where I can't hold on anymore though, I suppose I'd prefer to warn him. That would be an awful conversation though.

I've told friends in the past, mostly when I've sensed they felt the same way. It was kind of a relief to express it but, most of the time, it was pretty matter of fact talking. Which maybe was better. Probably in part because it was never something I was obviously imminently about to do though.

Do you know how they feel about assisted suicide? Sometimes you can kind of guage their feelings by talking about it in a broader sense.

 

[outatime_85]

There are no loved ones for me to talk with about my thoughts or what I want to do to myself.

Besides the tribe I was born into, they raised/trained me that what I am feeling (no one cares; suck it up is the mantra).

The rules instilled in me were to bottle it up (emotions) if I was struggling to figure it out on my own, no antidepressants, therapy/no doctor, and if my answer to my problems is offing myself, so be it; that was and is my tribe's mindset.

All this to say, with such rules growing up, that meant no one taught me how to ask for help, and if I did ask for help, it and I were seen as weak, so I have never asked again.

As for any loved ones feeling hurt if I could open up to them, no, they would not; they would simply remind me of the rules.

With regard to offing myself, they view that act as selfish and weak, so no, they would not be hurt by that decision either.

 

[attheend13]

Hi all lovely people,

I'm wondering how much and what you share about leaving life with your loved ones? I'm having difficulty finding a barier with mine. It's hea;ing to share certain details with some close ones, but I'm eager to hear yout experiences.

I am going to start writing my letters today. There's no version of it that will bring forgiveness. I'm hanging around because I'm poor and I can't leave my kids with no inheritance. I want out so badly I can hardly take a full breath anymore. It's like my body is rejecting oxygen. But what to say and to who? I recently let it leak out a bit ti someone that I'm at the end, and I got instant rage. I can't say anything to anyone. So it will be letters for me. Ironically I will be forgotten by about 99% of the people I know almost instantly. But the 1% I feel I owe an explanation to. It's not about anyone failing me. I'm the failure. I wish I could communicate the level of pain but there aren't words for that.