She does not want a relationship with me...I am only good enough to her friend

[noname223]

Bad for her I don't want friendship with her.

I have to stomach that. Maybe the game changer for her was that I never was in a relationship. I asked her that is the case in my reply explicitly. If this was the case it would make me pretty suicidal. I have no answer yet.

I don't want to maintain a friendship with her. She hurt me too much. I have not cried thus far though. My friends think my message could hurt her saying I think maintaining contact with her is impossible for me. I don't mind that...

Honestly, she always had so few contact with me. But she still signaled me she wants a partnership with me. I would have ended it after one month because her messages lacked any effort. When I did not reply she told me how much she enjoys our conversations. And that she wants to continue with me. I feel kind of kidded.

Though I was often very unhappy with how she handled our contact. I would wish for a different relationship and I knew that.
I might update this thread later. I am sort of pissed. But I have not received a reply yet and I did not cry.

I don't know which impact this will have on me. Tomorrow she wants to meet with me....hmhmm...lol

 

[derpyderpins]

Sorry it's so rocky. I say good on you sticking to your guns if you don't see friendship there. It's a weird thing TV sells us, but if you're looking for romance that friendship can't really help you. It's not like you were friends beforehand.

If her reason is that you've never been in a relationship before, I'd say that's more of a red flag for her, tbh. As far as baggage goes that's pretty far down the list. I mean, next person you date you would no longer have that status lol.

From the beginning it's seemed like you are a little more willing to commit and dedicate effort but she's not sure what she wants. You need both parties to want it and work for it.

Good luck.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

She sounds kind of toxic. Looks like you've dodged a bullet. I'd find someone else to talk to if I were you.

 

[-Link-]

Hello, my friend.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know it's so hard. Most of us are familiar with the hurt involved in this, one way or another.

I think the only way forward for you is to completely sever all forms of contact with this person.

Block all forms of contact, everywhere. Ideally, you'd also eliminate all reminders you have of her as well (messages, photos, etc.).

How she reacts to this, is not your responsibility. She made her choice. Now you make yours. If she gets hurt as a result of that, that's her problem. If that sounds harsh, that's because this is a harsh situation. This is a very common situation, and it's messy, and people get hurt. There's no way for this happen cleanly. So if she gets hurt, let that be her problem to figure out for herself. This is part of the choice she made, so let her own it -- don't take ownership of another person's choices.

I really hope you consider doing this and allowing yourself the time you need to heal from the hurt. The wound will heal. But it needs time to do that, and the wound also needs to be cared for by severing all forms of contact and eliminating reminders. Sometimes, as difficult as it is, this is just the only way forward after something like this. And based on what you've said here and elsewhere, I do think this applies to your situation here.

Wishing you well as can be under the circumstances.

 

[noname223]

Hello, my friend.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know it's so hard. Most of us are familiar with the hurt involved in this, one way or another.

I think the only way forward for you is to completely sever all forms of contact with this person.

Block all forms of contact, everywhere. Ideally, you'd also eliminate all reminders you have of her as well (messages, photos, etc.).

How she reacts to this, is not your responsibility. She made her choice. Now you make yours. If she gets hurt as a result of that, that's her problem. If that sounds harsh, that's because this is a harsh situation. This is a very common situation, and it's messy, and people get hurt. There's no way for this happen cleanly. So if she gets hurt, let that be her problem to figure out for herself. This is part of the choice she made, so let her own it -- don't take ownership of another person's choices.

I really hope you consider doing this and allowing yourself the time you need to heal from the hurt. The wound will heal. But it needs time to do that, and the wound also needs to be cared for by severing all forms of contact and eliminating reminders. Sometimes, as difficult as it is, this is just the only way forward after something like this. And based on what you've said here and elsewhere, I do think this applies to your situation here.

Wishing you well as can be under the circumstances.

Thank you for taking time to write such a thoughtful reply. Yes I told her I want to stop the contact and she seemed to be okay with.
I wanted to invite her to my next party at least I have gotten some time to stomach it. I consider to do the party last week and she would have dropped it the day of the party...

She does not deserve me. I think often she treated me poorly. Tomorrow I will go to one of my best friends to play some video games. I buoght me Mario Party Superstars and we also want to play it at my party

Thank you again. What would I do without this community. Sending hugs and love! :)

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm the first to admit the saying "all's fair in love and war" is pretty hackneyed, but there's a kernel of truth to it. Basically it means you can expect to be treated rougher in a romantic context than you would if you were just dealing with mates. So as you get further down the road of seeking out people to be with, don't be surprised if this kind of thing happens again. The trick is to not be embittered or jaded by it, or think you're "better" than some girl or whatever. The truth is these situations are awkward and difficult for people to handle. So I would say try to stay gracious and reasonable, and keep working at it.

Good luck to you.

 

[noname223]

I considered to kill myself this morning. Damn I met her this evening. I went to my self-help group. Only one woman came. We had an extremely good and deep conservation. She very strongly signaled me she is interested in me. She approached me last week I thgouht it might be coincidence. She trusted me I noticed that.

I have the feeling she might be the one. It was an amazing conversation. I cannot believe. I cannot fathom this happened to me. I was so fucking heartbroken because the woman I met from a dating app that treated me like fucking dirt.

I cannot belive that. They all were right miracles can happen and the physics professor was right the future is unpredictable.

She is in a relationship though. But it seems to be an unhappy one.