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Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
This year takes the fruit cake as the worst Christmas of my life, ever. It's worse than the year my mom died on December 17th. I'm old enough now to be able to just take it all in and really look at the wreckage surrounding me. If it doesn't get better this year I don't know that I'll continue posting in the Recovery forum but I'll give it this year and then reassess. I feel like I'm really just having to leave the ball in God's court as to how my life will turn out in 2020. Oh ye of little faith as they say. I really do pray and supplicate to the Almighty with you reading this as my witnesses, let this be my prayer, that for this year those of us trying to recover be able to regain our strength and ability to live. Some things are going to need to improve for me or God knows I'm fucking toast because I'm just not strong enough to endure certain ongoing trends... I was made a sensitive soul and I can't help but feeling the pain that is my rightful due, deeply. The odd thing is, I don't feel I even deserve to recover, I really earned my depression in life. I do want to recover some measure of happiness but I don't think I deserve to and I don't expect to, I just hope to.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I'm sorry to hear that your Christmas sucked. That goes for many people around here, I'm afraid. What was it that made this Christmas particularly bad?

You obviously have faith in God, so I wonder, have you tried finding solace in a congregation/parish? A priest could give you advice on how to sort out your life.

You don't deserve you're depression. I don't think anyone does. What makes you think so?
 
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Reactions: Supersadmommy90, mediocre, snorli and 1 other person
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
This has been a particularly bad year for many of us, if that is comforting to you. Know you aren't alone.
 
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Reactions: Tegan_sky, Sensei, mediocre and 1 other person
S

snorli

Student
Sep 30, 2019
178
I don't want to whine and I'll spare you the details, but 2019 was probably the worst year of my life ;-;. Thanks for all the kind words. I'm trying my best to give back and help others, but I feel so inadequate :nomouth:. Anyway, I'll try my best: love and hugs and all the best possible outcomes for all you, from the bottom of my heart :heart:.
 
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Reactions: Tegan_sky, Supersadmommy90, Sensei and 2 others
M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,442
I'm so sorry about your mum that's horrible :aw:

this year has been the absolute worst for me too everything has gone to hell. All my hope has been lost. I am here for you if you need to talk:heart:
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Indeed it was a brutal Christmas. I was white knuckling it. Feeling like I had to really compose myself around the friends I was with.
 
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M

Mloureiro

Student
Oct 7, 2019
128
This year has been the worst year of my life....
 

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