Walking Disaster
Member
- Jan 20, 2020
- 13
Hi guys, i don't know if going back to therapy is the right choice, i mean...for years i went through different things not telling anyone, after 6-7 years i just wasn't able to keep everything inside and talked to my parents, well nothing changed but i was able to start therapy..i should say that before going to therapy and open up to my parents i was fantasizing about it, probably because i wasn't able to talk to anyone about my problems and so therapy in my mind was like the thing that would save me, well i wasn't really thinking that but yeah i for sure was overhyping therapy. i started therapy and the first appointments were good, i just described my entire life and what happened but after that my problem of not being able to tell thing about myself kicked in again, telling her the fact and what happened was quite easy but telling about my feelings and stuff i couldn't do it so with time therapy just became going there and telling what was happening during those days, i mean something was useful..i was telling her about how things at work wasn't going so well or people that i was seeing at work but all of those thing were not as important as how i was feeling. after a year i decided to stop because yeah it was good having a day to talk to someone and say how things were going and what was happening to me (usually i spend like 12 hours on my pc and have 0 interaction with people so) but i feel like that wasn't helping me, i wasn't talking about my feeling and how i really feel inside.
I feel like i wanna get back to therapy but i know i will not be able to open up about the deepest thing i need to say, or in general talk about my feelings and emotions, and i don't want to make it usless again. Also i should probably talk again to my parents if i wanna get back to therapy and that's another thing i don't wanna do, i just can't i don't know why.
I just feel like i don't even deserve to say to people that i'm struggling, my mind is always telling me "you are just faking everything" even if after years and years of no social life and problems probably i'm not faking things my mind just keep telling me that everytime , and so i feel guilty and worthless and not allowed to talk about myself
I feel like i wanna get back to therapy but i know i will not be able to open up about the deepest thing i need to say, or in general talk about my feelings and emotions, and i don't want to make it usless again. Also i should probably talk again to my parents if i wanna get back to therapy and that's another thing i don't wanna do, i just can't i don't know why.
I just feel like i don't even deserve to say to people that i'm struggling, my mind is always telling me "you are just faking everything" even if after years and years of no social life and problems probably i'm not faking things my mind just keep telling me that everytime , and so i feel guilty and worthless and not allowed to talk about myself