I was recently hospitalized in the psych ward and we had free psychiatric counseling there. I developed a trustful relationship with a psychologist there and I enjoyed talking to her. When I was sent back home, she recommended I should start visiting her outside of the hospital as well, as she also works part-time in a private psychiatric clinic. Money wouldn't be an issue, since the state (thank you EU) would cover like 90% of the costs. For the past few days I have been really torn about whether I should start going to her or not. On the one hand, I really did click with her and I felt like our conversations were meaningful. I've had psychologists before, but they usually are of no help. However, there are two downsides to it. Firstly, I am afraid that I will develop a fixation relationship with her, that I would start trusting her too much to the point that it's no longer good for me. Secondly, I'm afraid that I will rethink my plan to ctb if I visit her enough. It's hard to explain, but my suicidal thoughts exist outside of my emotions. I want to ctb even if I am feeling well. If I started regularly going to her, it would be a small step on the "right" path to recovery. But for me, that path is the wrong one. I'm curious to read your thoughts.
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Redleaf1992
Just leave us the f*ck alone!
- Feb 3, 2024
- 229
From your message it's clear your not wanting to CTB atm.
Where are you at the moment in life? If things continued as they were now; do you think you would continue to make somthing good from your life or do you think you will end up CTBing?
If the latter I would suggest doing it. Things don't change unless to we push somthing to make it happen. If you do it in the first session make your concerns known to her, maybe there is somthing that can be done to reduce the risk? Assuming we want to recover the more open we are the better.
Where are you at the moment in life? If things continued as they were now; do you think you would continue to make somthing good from your life or do you think you will end up CTBing?
If the latter I would suggest doing it. Things don't change unless to we push somthing to make it happen. If you do it in the first session make your concerns known to her, maybe there is somthing that can be done to reduce the risk? Assuming we want to recover the more open we are the better.
maybe she can present you her opinion about your thinking that recovery " is the wrong one".
i don't understand "but my suicidal thoughts exist outside of my emotions. I want to ctb even if I am feeling well."
why ?
i don't understand "but my suicidal thoughts exist outside of my emotions. I want to ctb even if I am feeling well."
why ?
Redleaf1992
Just leave us the f*ck alone!
- Feb 3, 2024
- 229
I get similiar to them tbf. I don't know if it is difficult letting go of those feelings when you feeling on a up. Or if cos the feeling feels fake.
Obvs may be very different for them.
The_Hunter
What respect is there in death?
- Nov 30, 2024
- 318
Go see her and see how it works out :)
It is clear that seeing her for you will reduce the amount of pain in your life. That is an excellent reason to do so! Even if your life ends one day, then that doesn't make the relief you get from seeing her any less.
Don't base your choices off of unfounded fears of "getting fixated" and and "going on the wrong path", friend, there is no wrong path. Your therapist is not going to mindcontrol you and make you lose your free will. They will likely make you feel a little more relaxed just as she has done already, and that's just fine.
What matters more, some "right path-ness" or how you feel? I persuade you to choose the latter.
Those are fears, not downsides. If you feel like dying, might as well my friend, might as well--might as well try something that you know you'll like. How can liking something and feeling relaxed by it be a problem? Pleasure and relief are special and valuable things in life, I encourage you to take up this opportunity to seize that for yourself.
Now, go book an appointment with her! If you see her for a few appointments and end up having any issues, feel most welcome to post about it here on SaSu and we'll try to help you out on things. But you miss every shot you don't take! You should experiment with it, at the very least.
Best of luck friend!
It is clear that seeing her for you will reduce the amount of pain in your life. That is an excellent reason to do so! Even if your life ends one day, then that doesn't make the relief you get from seeing her any less.
Don't base your choices off of unfounded fears of "getting fixated" and and "going on the wrong path", friend, there is no wrong path. Your therapist is not going to mindcontrol you and make you lose your free will. They will likely make you feel a little more relaxed just as she has done already, and that's just fine.
What matters more, some "right path-ness" or how you feel? I persuade you to choose the latter.
Those are fears, not downsides. If you feel like dying, might as well my friend, might as well--might as well try something that you know you'll like. How can liking something and feeling relaxed by it be a problem? Pleasure and relief are special and valuable things in life, I encourage you to take up this opportunity to seize that for yourself.
Now, go book an appointment with her! If you see her for a few appointments and end up having any issues, feel most welcome to post about it here on SaSu and we'll try to help you out on things. But you miss every shot you don't take! You should experiment with it, at the very least.
Best of luck friend!
